I spun the wheel of blog archives and landed on October 2003. I often like to look back at random dates and remember where I was and what was going on. The thing is, in an effort to be discreet, over the years I’ve left out names and places. When I read entries from October 2003, I say things like “my boyfriend”, “My brother”, “my job” – Yeah, but which boyfriend? Which brother? Which job? I also noticed that I wrote a whole lot more whimsically. I used funny terminology and sayings. Perhaps it was a result of reading Catcher in the Rye. I liked the way Holden talked so inevitably I wrote a bit like him. Huh. I also went into a lot more detail about what was actually going on in my life. For example, what was on TV that night. I like that kind of stuff. It takes me back. And that’s the point. When I’m 80 years old I can look back at how cool I was. Or, I guess, how messed up I was. When I’m 80, I can say…see, back then I was messed up. Thank goodness I’ve figured things out.

Of course, my life has changed so dramatically from 2003 to now. Five years ago. Wow. Doesn’t it seem like longer? It does to me. So this whole anonymity thing with the names and dates…it bothers me that…well, for one, I can’t fucking remember what the hell was going on. Job? What fucking job? I’ve had about a million of them over the years. I guess what I’ve always felt is that by saying “boyfriend” I could simply look at the date and go, “Oh yeah! That dude!” – Alas, I really can’t. I suppose I could mull it over for a bit and eventually come to a conclusion, but that requires a whole lot more brain power than I’m willing to expend at the moment. Oh well. I suppose from now on I’ll use initials. That might help. I’ll let you know if it works in five years.

I also realized that I don’t listen to music like I used to. Five years ago all I ever did was listen to music. MP3′s were in constant rotation and I don’t think I ever turned it off. Maybe at night, but mostly, the music was playing. Hmmm. What’s up with that? I mean, I still listen to music, but not quite as obsessively. That needs to change. Me, shun the music? Never! *putting on ABBA now.

Alright. So what’s going on now? Today, like a lot of days, was hot and my energy was low. I’m at the ass end of a long, nasty flu and I feel like I’m still recovering. I practiced piano for a little over an hour today. If I haven’t mentioned, I’m teaching myself piano. It’s really hard. Well, note reading is. The thing is, I started about a month ago and I’ve actually gotten better so it gives me hope. I saw this cheesy show on public television the other day called “Learn Piano in a Flash” – the teacher was THE most annoying person on the planet, but he actually gave me some tips I’m using. Interesting huh? No, I know.

I hung up my eco-friendly wasp decoy nest today. Because it looks like a real wasp nest (sort of), it’s supposed to detract wasps and bees. We’ll see if it works. It beats wasp traps. I feel so bad…hey guys, here’s some delicious honey juice for you…oh! You’re trapped and you’re gonna starve to death. Sorry. I’m no killer. A bee got into the house the other day and I had to take decisive action. It was him or me. Bee stings can kill cats, so I decided to save my children and destroy the bee. I felt really bad. Especially since I didn’t kill him with the first whack. So yeah, I’d rather deter the wasps than kill them. Hey, I’m a nice person like that.

I’m hungry. Or am I? I feel like this is all really boring shit. Hanging up wasp decoys and practicing piano…WTF? Why aren’t I doing anything? It’s this ass end of the flu that’s got me down. Ah fuck, I do things, I guess. Maybe not blog-worthy, but I do stuff. Just not today.

BTW, this new layout doesn’t look awesome on the iPhone. Lame.