Had a pretty great week, regardless of how fast it went. While AJB was out of town, JCS and I got off our asses and visited the Audubon Center at Debs Park – a place I never knew existed until now. It’s great! It’s a natural park with hiking trails and learning centers, they also provide all sorts of free classes like Tai Chi on Sundays. Needless to say, like most natural parks, it’s just gorgeous and what’s better, it’s about 10 minutes from Pasadena, just outside of Downtown. You can discover all sorts of cool things just by driving around and following signs.

The image of our television set is one of the Winter Olympics athletes being interviewed. Me and the kids were making fun of her, so I took a picture and it was all I had for that day. The final picture is our bathroom being fixed after extensive rain damage.

The rain over the last few days has put a damper on any sort of motivation and all I really want to do is watch TCM and snuggle with my cats. I love the rain. It makes everything look and smell so wonderful. Our grass is greener than ever and the world is clean. Meanwhile, I’ve been listening to a really great Old Time Radio station 1710 Antioch. This station is literally run out of this guy’s house in Illinois and gets a local broadcast range of about a mile radius. He’s streaming online which is how I found him. I really love the DIY aspect of it and even donated $15.00 to his efforts; something I never do. This is what life is about: Doing what you love and sharing it with others. I have to support that.

1710 Antioch runs the gambit of OTR programs from suspense to comedy to science fiction. You’ll hear famous actors who got their start in radio including the wonderful Glenn Ford. You’ll even hear old station bumpers, commercials, and PSAs from the 20′s to the 50′s. Its a blast from the past and really makes me wonder why we need television at all. I mean, all these programs are so great and while all of them aren’t Mercury Theater caliber, it still instantly transports you to a simpler place and time. It also reminds me that nothing can compete with your own imagination; what the scene would look like or just imagining a group of actors huddled around a microphone holding scripts, the sound effects guy in the background clanging bells and knocking on tables. You can find magic in the world if you look for it. Antioch 1710 is magical. Sheer perfection comes with listening at night with the rain splashing on the shingles. The station owner really cares about the shows, fixes audio, and provides really clean recordings. If you do listen, consider donating a few pence to help the guy out. He really puts a lot of work into it.

And now onto the Round Up…

This week’s Photo Round Up contains 6 images – actually 2 are from the same day, but it was such a great photo of Oatmeal, I had to include it. I’m also noticing that my subject matter consists mainly of my cats. I suppose it’s because they’re always around. I should use this project to get out more or at least wander the yard a bit. Then again, it’s been raining. Let’s see how I do next week.

I told him about Chase Jarvis’ new book “The Best Camera“, a book I haven’t read (actually, I think it’s just a photo book) in which the author uses his iPhone camera to capture some amazing photos. The title of the book is an old photography teacher mantra stating that the best camera is the one you have with you. Further meaning: You don’t need a fancy camera to be a good photographer.

Whenever the youngin’s ask me what camera they should buy, I always tell them what Chase says about the best camera; although I should note, as it’s become a Chase Jarvis phrase, it’s not new. You can be an awesome photographer with your camera phone. I then have to justify why I have a fancy, expensive camera and explain that it’s basically about fronting, looking like a pro, and making myself feel better when I’m on a shoot. It’s about vanity. Oh well, and I couldn’t rightly shoot actor headshots on a camera phone and then charge what I charge. That said, I recommended the kid get one of the Canon Rebels. I love those little guys and they’re actually pretty amazing cameras; you know, if you want to step up from the camera phone.

That said, this kid told me how he’s working on a project in which he takes one photo a day and then at the end of the week, uploads the lot to Flickr. I thought,by jove, what a novel idea. Alright, so all us photographers dabble with that idea from time to time. Some of us do it, some of us don’t. Some of us start and never get anywhere. I actually tried to do the picture a day thing and only made it through a few weeks.

It’s an exercise in seeing more in your environment and dumbing down your gear, living with limits. It’s about stepping away from the main picture and using a camera without a lot of bells and whistles. I do indeed like this idea and realized that I had a lot of fun when I did it the last time. Problem was, I didn’t do anything with the photos and felt it was gratuitous to upload one photo a day of random crap. However, a weekly posting on the week’s shots might be a bit more palatable and easier for me to handle.

I managed to get three this week. The last image is a random one I took while writing this post. It’s not bad for a start. Also note, the two photos of my yard cat, Pierre.

Unlike a lot of artists, I never had a mentor and my internships have all turned out to be huge let downs. I’ve read books and articles hungrily searching for tricks, tips, and advice. I’ve taken classes and even walked up to photographers to ask them questions about their techniques and equipment. Nothing has been handed to me. So when I see other photographers, people who have done far better than me in less time, I can’t help but feel inferior. They’re out there making names for themselves and I’m sitting at home wondering how to make a name for myself.

During my 1st year out as a freelancer, I worked hard and did a lot of “pay your dues” work. I learned a lot, but found that I still didn’t know how the system worked. How were my friends making money, getting printed, and showing up in galleries? How does that work?

The hardest facet of being an artist is learning how to sell yourself. My friends have photo blogs, they talk constantly about their work, and they’re always working on something. Now, let’s not forget, they’re also in their 20′s and can live on Top Ramen and Red Bulls. Had I been more focused, a bit smarter, I could have done what they have done. So now I’m married with step-kids and while that’s not a valid excuse, it does add a certain level of complication to the matter. The other issue is that I carefully release my work, only showing the work I’m totally positive will get a good response. I don’t ever show my mediocre work, or at least, I’m afraid to. I seem to have a heightened sense of good or bad in own my work. My friends, they show everything…even the bad stuff. Are they better photographers than me? In some cases, yes. In others, no. They’re putting themselves out there and perhaps it doesn’t occur to them that someone might say they hate it. Frankly, I haven’t seen that yet. They seem to get a good deal of affirmation in their work, even the work that I wouldn’t consider good; if it were mine.

It took me a year to start telling people, with confidence, that I was a photographer. When I started doing that, my life started making sense. I’ve always been a photographer, but felt that since I wasn’t making money and didn’t have the portfolio to back it up, I shouldn’t rightfully call myself one. It sounded pretentious and I was worried that I would appear to be egotistical. That was then. I now have a pretty decent portfolio and I’m more determined than ever to make a go of it. This is what I want, this is who I am. I am a photographer, dammit. This is the year that I will hype my shit and show my work. I’ll find a way to stay respectable and not come off as an egomaniac.

With that said, I took a leap and submitted 7 of my recent Polaroids to a one night gallery showing in Santa Monica. As many of you know, Polaroid is one of my favorite film types. I just love it. I put off submitting my work to this show because…you guessed it, I was afraid. When the deadline drew near, I fought my inner critic and eventually won. I sent them out and felt as though I was throwing caution to the wind. Let the chips fall where they may. Turns out, they’re using my work. In what capacity, I’m still not sure. My name is on the list of contributors and I’m attending the show tonight.

Let the chips fall where they may. I figure, some things work and you can’t please everyone.

Since around 2004 when I got my very first digital camera, I’ve simply loaded images onto my computer willy nilly. With hardly any regard to structure, it’s one of those things I told myself I’d do later. 40,000 images later, I’m at an important juncture in my career. I have too many images, don’t need access to them all, and need to find them faster. Furthermore, iPhoto isn’t meant to handle 40,000+ images. It’s meant for Mom and Dad’s photos of birthday parties, Christmases, and the Grand Canyon. Now, don’t get me wrong. This is not a slight on Mac or anything. Mac and I are good friends, but iPhoto really isn’t the high-octane photo organizer a photographer like me needs. It bogs down, chokes up, and fades out.

The problem now is that I do indeed have 40,000 photos (maybe more, not counting everything on my laptop). I’ve done some research and have come across a lovely $300 application called “Lightroom”; it’s made by our friends over at Adobe, the people who brought you Photoshop. Lightroom is like iPhoto on crack. It’s got quite a few more advanced features and really seems to take organization seriously. In addition, it makes me feel more grown-up.

Problem is, how do I integrate 40,000 photos into a new application using new organizational methods? I have no idea. I thought I’d import everything and then organize, but I couldn’t figure it out. I thought the best way to do this was to import everything at once. Once I got everything in, I couldn’t figure out a good method. I thought about starting over and importing folder by folder. That was until I realized iPhoto isn’t necessarily organized that way. Besides, I don’t think I can import image by image one by one. That would take forever. I deleted everything I’d just imported. Not the original files, by the way. The added bonus came when I cleared the trash bin. I then realized I could indeed organize the way I wanted to within Lightroom, except, now I have to start over.

Yesterday, the import took around 4 hours. At present, Lightroom is acknowledging that the images were there but cannot find them. Yeah, that’s because I deleted them. I’m not sure how to get the ghost images out of there and a second “delete” is taking forever. Good thing I’ve allocated the entire day for this project. And I have to do it. It’s integral that I stay organized, can find images, and can get my workflow working. Up until now, I haven’t had an efficient workflow and I’m pretty sure it’s hindering my work. I’ve come to hate downloading images and I have hardly any desire to work on them, work through them, or put them to any good use. That’s because the current method doesn’t work. I need things that work.

We’ll see how it goes. I’ve got 4 hours to kill. I guess I’ll do laundry or something.

UPDATE: When tried to re-import the images from the iPhoto Library, the entire library was gone. Yes, this means what you think it means. Everything. Gone. We still have no idea what happened, but are hoping that by using Time Machine to restore the internal drive to an earlier date before the Lightroom debacle, this will fix things. I hope. Of course, this means I must also face the fact that all my images might be gone. Forever.

*Note to self: Five years from now, you won’t remember what you’re talking about. Hint: 320

I’ve been working in the studio more than ever – A.K.A. the garage. It’s only about 50% cleared, but I have space to work. I love working in there. I love it so much. On Saturday, I started work in the morning steaming t-shirts and as the heat rose, I thought I should go buy a thermometer, just to see exactly how hot. Turns out, it got to 91 degrees in there. And that’s nothing. It wasn’t even a particularly hot day. It was 80 degrees outside, 91 in the studio. Can you imagine what it’s like in 98 degree weather? By the thermometer’s logic, that would make it 109 in the studio! AJB finally caved and bought his poor, heat stroked fiancee a portable air conditioner. As he came home with the appliance, I stated, “Watch, as soon as we plug it in, the weather’s going to cool off.” Lo, I was right. It’s been a lovely 75 fucking degrees! Jesus. Ain’t it always the way? Well, through the end of the month, it looks like we’ll reach the high 90′s. I’m not wishing for another heat wave, I just want to make sure I use that sucker after all the fuss I made.

As I’m working hard, my eyes are burning with the heat of at least 1200 fires. I suppose this means I need new glasses. This has been the year that I’ve noticed I need my glasses more and more. Like, all the time. I’ve worn reading glasses since I was 17, but I could always get away with not wearing them all the time. These days, Grandma Kristen needs her spectacles. One of the numerous benefits to getting married is having health insurance and (hopefully) eye coverage. Teeth even?

On that note, HOLY CRAP THE WEDDING IS ONLY 46 DAYS AWAY!!!! No, I’m not panicking. I’m freaking the fuck out. We have so much to do. Our wedding planner – the girl that’s making it all happen – is out of town. Her father had a stroke and she’s (as she should be) attending to him. I can’t help but feel like…OMG bad timing! Does that make me a bad person? The selfish part of me is annoyed, the human part of me knows how tough it is when your Dad is sick. I’m sending her good thoughts. Except, now we’re on our own.

To get an idea of where we’re at, here are several important things we need to do: Wedding invites, bridesmaid dresses, grooms’s attire, groomsman’s attire, rehearsal dinner, wedding rings, outfits for the flower kids, wedding night reservations, honeymoon plans, slim the budget substantially, I need to figure out how I want my hair and make-up, alter dress, lose 10 more pounds, make appt. to get hair extensions (it’s gonna look cool), buy wedding shoes, take photo (or Photoshop) for special reception decor, write wedding vows, make favors, make bridesmaid bouquets, and a JILLION other little things.

AJB and I are lazy fucks. We lag on just about everything. When it’s come to the wedding, we’ve been less than proactive. Sure, in the last few months, we’ve gotten a bit more on the ball, but we’re not where we should be. Thankfully, we have lots of help. We’ve also been hellishly busy. Once the kids came back from vacation, we’ve both been working like mad. Who has time to design wedding invites? Yet, it has to get done.

On that note, I have a lot of work to do today.

I’ve been a photographer and writer as long as I can remember. I did most of my writing in high school and came up with a bunch of lame stories I’d never let anyone read. I then did a good deal of writing when I was running Dark Culture. However, since I’ve left Dark Culture to wallow in solitude, the only real writing I’ve done has been for this blog. I’ve been concentrating on my photography career steadfast and true over the last year and writing has taken a back seat. Fact is, photography is easier than writing. While there are far more technical aspects to photography that one must master, writing is hard because you start with a blank page. Photography, on the other hand, you start with the world.

Looking around my own house, I could find any number of things to take pictures of. Doing the same with a pen and paper, I draw a blank. I realize that coming up with ideas to write about is much more difficult than looking for things to shoot. Does this mean writing requires a truer talent than I actually possess? I don’t know. I’ve been told that I’m a pretty decent writer and when pressed, I’ve come up with some fine text. I suppose it’s because I look at photography like a puzzle to be figured out. Pieces all jumbled that need to be placed in their corresponding order. Light, shadow, glare, bounce, reflection, hues, softness, hardness, and all these other elements that make any one picture come alive. Furthermore, take into consideration camera settings, angle, shutter speeds, ISOs, and F-stops. It’s more akin to a murder mystery. Who dunnit and at what F-stop? There’s also motive and emotive.

When I really think about it, writing has all these elements as well. I guess what it comes down to is me. Truth is, I never felt like a good writer, but photography validates me as an artist. I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I am not Annie Leibovitz. I am me and I’m good at what I do. When it comes to writing, I’ve resigned myself to the fact that I am not Ray Bradbury. I am me and I’ll never be that good. So what it comes down to is self esteem. Is that what you’re saying? I suppose it is. I feel that I can be witty and flowery in my words, but when it comes to describing, at length, the color of someone’s eyes…I think “blue”? Give this topic to any number of gifted writers and they will tell you why the eyes are blue, what they remind him/her of, or how they spark memories or songs. Ok, so maybe I could do that…maybe I really could, but I get the feeling that should I try, I’d only be saying what a million other people have already said.

I can see this internal dilemma in my fiancee’s son, who, like his father, is a writer; and comes from a long line of gifted writers. How do you write about things that no one else has written about? My fiancee once told his son that what makes his writing unique is his ability to write about the things that only he knows. Which leads us back to the time honored rule of writing: Write what you know.

What do I know? I know that I’ve written passed 500 words and it’s time to stop.