Several months ago, ex-boyfriend Todd and his girlfriend moved to Morocco. They needed to re-home their cats, one of which came from the same litter as Matilda. Despite being sisters, Eva and Matilda did not like each other immediately – as you would imagine they might. That’s just us humans thinking wishfully.

We now had 3 cats: Oatmeal, Matilda, and Eva. We knew it would be difficult integrating older cats. At first, we did everything we could to make sure the cats got used to each other without actually seeing each other. We followed steps and took our time. After a few months of taking our time, we let them sort it out on their own. We figured out that they might not ever become best friends, but we hoped they would tolerate one another. Weeks passed. Oatmeal and Matilda avoided Eva as best they could. Eva spent a lot of time on the other side of the house. Slowly, however, she started coming down stairs, spending time with AJB, the kids, and I. More and more, she was visible and becoming a part of the family. As this happened, Oatmeal and Matilda also came to accept that she wasn’t leaving any time soon.

Because Eva has the spirit of adventure, she quickly realized that the Master bedroom must be conquered. It’s where Matilda and Oatmeal spend most of their time and has the most comfortable bed. It’s also where Mommy and Daddy sleep. Eva would sit at the bottom of the stairs looking up. Matilda would sit at the top of the stairs looking down. They’d frequently have [what we called] Mexican Stand Offs. If Eva attempted to climb the stairs, Matilda would chase her off – this was her turf. No Evas allowed. Over time, Eva got closer and closer to the top of the stairs. Eventually, she was in the hallway. And then the doorway to the master bedroom. She would be chased off time and time again. Matilda would literally stand guard at the doorway. Eva wouldn’t get into the master bedroom, not on her watch! No matter how AJB and I tried to tell the cats that we loved them all, that it was OK for Eva to be in the room, they had to sort it out on their own. That’s just how it works in the animal kingdom. Human logic does not apply.

Soon enough, Eva figured out that if Matilda was occupied downstairs, she could sneak in and nap as though she’d been there the whole time. At first she started sleeping in the closet, out of sight. After a few days, she moved to the window sill, obscured by our junk; again there, but not there. Suddenly, one night she was on the bed at our feet. Matilda chased her off. Eva always made sure to walk on top of the furniture, knowing full well that being on the floor left her open for attack. Ever careful, ever vigilant.

Last night Eva slept on the bed almost the entire night. AJB woke me and told me that Matilda was on the bed too. What? Wow! They were on the bed at the same time. There were a few growls, groans, and one chase off, but they both came back and slept on the bed. Together, but apart. It seems they’ve concluded that they might not like the other cat, but if they want to sleep on the bed, they have to get used to one another.

This has taught me an amazing lesson in perseverance. Eva wanted something and she got it. It took some time, patience, and clever thinking, but she finally got what she wanted. Where there is a will, there is a way. On the Matilda side of the lesson, I see that when you let your guard down, someone is always waiting to get passed you. You can’t watch the door all the time and if you learn to share, everyone is happy. I do feel a bit bad for Matilda. She got beat and outsmarted. As much as she’d like to think she’s the alpha cat, Eva is bigger, stronger, and faster. After 3 years of being the baby, Matilda is now forced to share everything with another cat. It can’t be fun. She and Oatmeal always got along, but Oatmeal is essentially Eeyore. He accepts things whether he likes it or not. He lives the words of my late Grandma Lena: Things will get better and if they don’t, we’ll get used to it. He goes with the flow and as long as he’s getting skull rubs and food, he’s happy. Eva and Matilda, however, have been vying for alpha cat. They both can’t be Highlander. There can be only one.

Matilda, sweet and tiny, put up a good fight defending her turf, but in the end, she accepted defeat. And here’s another lesson: Defeat isn’t the end of the world. They both get the bed and there’s plenty of Mommy and Daddy love to go around. Of course, the real losers are my feet. I just lost a few more inches of foot space at the end of my bed.