Today when I was exiting the Whole Foods in East Pasadena, I was approached by two members of the environmental group Greenpeace. They asked simply, “Do you have a few minutes to talk about Greenpeace?” I replied frankly, “No actually, I don’t, sorry.” Because Greenpeacers are aggressive, they followed that by saying, “Don’t you want to help the environment?” I retorted casually and in a friendly way that I help the environment everyday. The guy of this guy/girl combo smiled and made an agreeable remark. After I’d unloaded my groceries and returned the cart back to the stall, I smiled and wished them luck.

“Takes more than luck”, the girl sneered, not even making eye contact.

You fucking bitch! How dare she? All of 18 years old, I was helping the environment before she was in 1st grade! I was the first person on my block to recycle. By the way, no one was doing it at the time and the city certainly didn’t provide containers to do so in. I’m the one who lectures people about the importance of not littering, recycling, doing more, using less, turning off lights, driving better cars, spreading the word about cool environmental projects, talking about it, buying organic, and not eating meat (which helps the environment big time!). In fact, I spend a great deal of time and effort thinking about the environment, talking about global warming, saving animals, composting, and buying local food. So how dare this little bitch chide me for not sacrificing my time and my wilting vegetables in the trunk for an organization whose newsletter I was subscribed to WAY BEFORE going green was trendy.

Look, I may not be Ed Begley Jr. and I don’t drive a Prius, but the state of the environment has been a life-long cause for me. I do my best, I do what I can, and I think I do more than most. What bothers me most is that Greenpeacers look down on you when you don’t donate money. And that’s what they want. Money. I get it. Money helps them run and they’re a fantastic organization. It would be nice if I could afford to donate, but I just can’t at the moment. Besides, living an entire life with concern for the environment is far more important and will do more good than my temporary 20 dollars.

This isn’t the first time I’ve been chided by a Greenpeacer. In any given group, there’s always some aggro representative that thinks they’re Jesus Fucking Christ because they sport a Greenpeace t-shirt and stand outside a grocery store guilting people into donating money. Maybe that’s how it needs to be done. Maybe Greenpeace is where it is because they’re aggro and judgmental. I don’t know, it just doesn’t go over well with me. I prefer the “lead by example” lifestyle. You can’t force people to care – believe me, I’ve cared for well over 20 years. People take their own time to come around. My own mother has only recently begun to make a real effort for the environment. Yay for her, but was she not listening to me all these years? I’m not about recruitment. Do or do not. You make your choices and at the end of the day, you’re the one who lives with it.

So hey, Greenpeace, take it easy on people. The media and popular culture have only recently started telling people to give a shit and buy hybrid cars. For many people, shopping at Whole Foods is a big step. And you know what? It’s a pretty good start. We can’t all be Al Gore, but if we try…we’re headed in the right direction – so give me a fucking break!