Category Archives: Weird

Houses of the Haunted Variety

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The Universe is a funny thing. It giveth and it taketh away. On Wednesday I hand delivered wedding images to an ecstatic client who even teared up over a few of them. I couldn’t have asked for a better response. I love what I do. My job actually makes people happy. It makes me happy. I have chosen my career wisely. Everyone, including her parents and sister, seemed very pleased. It may also lead to more work. No matter how much marketing I do, my work will be mostly referral based. Aside from getting more work, it’s also highly satisfying to make my clients happy. Funny how that works out.

After riding the extreme high of delivering the images to my client, things seemed like they were getting on track. Except, we got a new letter from the people we bought our house from. I suppose I can’t talk about it just yet, but use your imagination. I won’t go into details just yet, but my basic feeling is this: A POX ON THEM! BOILS AND POXES AND FIRE!!

*sigh*

Why can’t things stay good? Why do bad things have to crop out of nowhere, fuck shit up, and ruin it all? I wish I knew why bad people existed. After 5 months of turmoil, I wish I had it in my heart to give them the benefit of the doubt. What’s the matter with them? I’m not sure why they’re targeting their (un)righteous indignation at us. What did we do, besides pay them more than the house was worth? Um, nothing. In fact, they’ve been the ones making us miserable. We’ve been pleasant and fair – more than fair – since this whole thing started. I suppose I must accept that people are jerks. I shouldn’t let it get to me. It’s just another challenge to overcome. An annoying challenge, but we’ll be fine.

Onto other things.

So it turns out our new house is HAUNTED!!! I know. What house have I lived in that wasn’t? This one especially, I think. I’m usually the canary in a coal mine when it comes to hauntings. I’m the one who’s troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night and feelings of dread in my basement or attic. I haven’t sensed anything. Except, last week AJB’s assistant and I visited the house and started finding garlic cloves in doorways and window sills. We made light of it and tried to figure out why. I finally called the contractor’s head employee, Alex, who’d been on the job the most. He told me it was something the other guy, Edgar, did. Perfect name, don’t you think? I told him it was fine and we didn’t care if the house smelled like garlic – which it did.

The next time we met with our contractor, he pulled us aside. “What I’m about to tell you is something I’ve never told a client,” he said. Turns out, Alex had called him and said he refused to go back on the job. He said this because he and Edgar had heard noises like people walking around the house, fans turning on, and at one point, they walked out to the back of the house – when they came back in, all the kitchen cabinets were open. I’d probably be calling a priest right about now. Except, I’m used to this sort of thing. I’ve had way too many unexplained occurrences: jiggling door knobs, haunted door bells, voices, sightings, dark entities, noises in other rooms, the cats watching walking ghosts, my sister’s cats watching a woman walk back and forth across a room, the Hong Kong camera experience, and so much more. I could write a 3000 word post about it all. I’m a fairly logical person. I’d explain it if I could.

I read an article recently that talked about how feelings of dread are actually NOT caused by ghosts, but rather a low frequency which comes from old pipes and actually triggers the human fear response. I don’t know about that, but I’ve seen and heard things that will turn you WHITE! Truth is, I know how crazy it all sounds. When I tell people about the things I’ve experienced, I often wonder if they think I’m nuts. I also know what I’ve seen and heard, but even I question it.

Anyway, Alex returned to the job and seems to be fine now. I want to ask if he’s experienced anything else lately. I’ve also heard that construction jobs tend to rile up the spirits, so it makes sense they’re all up and about. Or it could be the noises are simply the house settling with all the work being done. OK, so how do you explain the kitchen cabinets? Either way, something is spooking the handymen. It’s an old house, after all. 108 years old this year.

When we moved into the temp Glendale house, I did a cleansing ritual – I walked around with sage and chanted nice things claiming temporary ownership of the house. I banished all bad energy and even though I felt silly doing it, it made me feel better. I’ll do the same thing at the new house. Twice if I have to.

Giving Props

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It’s a brand new day! Today I’ve been feeling the love and reveling in the fact that I have witnessed and took part in history. I’m still in a bit of shock.

Amidst the joy and hope, I am however saddened that Prop 8 – banning California gays to marry – passed. It’s funny to think that California is ready for a Black president, but aren’t ready for gay people to marry. It bothers me for many reasons, including the fact that my own sister now has to wait to see how things turn out. I also have friends that will be directly impacted by this. Yes, this awful and unfair proposition will be fought in the courts and I hope that it gets overturned in a timely manner. In the meantime, it’s strange to think that California is still intolerant enough to pass an actual civil rights ban and prohibit people who love each other from legally sharing their lives together. I guess I can take solace in the fact that it was nearly a 50% split, meaning that only half the state are bigots.

My joy turns to sadness turns to happiness as I’ve also found out that Prop 2 passed, which means factory farm animals must now be confined HUMANELY allowing them to move about freely in their cages. As a long time vegetarian (almost vegan) this is something I’ve wished for – for a long time. No more being squished together, no more being unable to move to the point that their little legs atrophy. This is a phenomenal step in the right direction towards animals rights. At the moment, nothing can be done about how the animals are killed, but knowing that their short lives are made just a little better gives me hope. It says something about us as a society, how we treat our animals. It’s been a long time coming and I’m glad. Animals suffer so very much on their way to your table, it’s time we finally give them the respect they deserve. It would be better if you didn’t eat them at all, but whatever…you make your own choice. I’ve made mine and I stick by it now 17 years.

This adds a new level of confusion. Animals now have more rights than gays. How does that compute? It boggles the mind, but it does show some form of progress and I’m happy for that. Prop 8 must be overturned. It has to.

Hooray for Obama, boo for Prop 8, and yay for Prop 2. Wow. People are taking baby steps, but I feel like we’re on our way. I feel confident that things will only get better from here. Perhaps once the Obama high wears off, I’ll return my normal, cynical self. Until then, I’m rather cheerful and optimistic.

Pre-Packaged Goth

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Instead of working my butt off yesterday, I palled around with my boyfriend’s 12 year old daughter. She and I have a few things in common and I think she’s a pretty great kid. In particular, even though she’s a twin, she’s still the middle child. I was the second born, but I was still a middle child. We both have challenging mothers. We both like to fix things and make things better. She reads like a fiend. When I was that age, I read like a fiend. Anything I could get my hands on. I remember when she was 9, she asked me if I thought it was OK to be weird. How cute. Of course, I replied, you’re talking to me! I’m the Queen of Weird, after all. Maybe not a Queen, maybe a Princess of Weird. Anyway, I’ve always made it a point to let her be herself and embrace her weirdness. She’s got a good head on her shoulders and she’s super smart.

For Halloween this year, she’s decided to be a Dark Fairy. I was never into Dark Fairies, because they didn’t really exist when I was 12, but I probably would have been. I thought, how cool is that? I need to help her! What better place to take a 12 year old girl putting together a Dark Fairy costume than Hot Topic? Sure, I don’t work there anymore, but it remains the one stop shop for pre-teens looking to rebel. I recalled that Dark Fairies were big when I worked there and knowing Hot Topic, probably still were. We got there and looked around a bit. Hardly any Dark Fairy items. Maybe one messenger bag. I wanted to get her some cool wings, but all they had were angels, butterflies, and devils. Booo.

Kudos to Hot Topic for finally dropping the fairies after all these years, but when we finally need something from them, they don’t deliver. What else is new? As an added bonus, the staff was playing THE most annoying music – it was GWAR or GWAR-like, you know the kind of music that sounds like Satan having a tough time in the bathroom? It’s probably my least favorite kind of music and really put off my boyfriend’s daughter. I imagined taking her in and finding all kinds of cool fairy stuff and then maybe even getting her excited about some Goth stuff. As usual, Hot Topic is out of the loop and don’t realize they’re dealing with a whole new generation of kids: The pre-teens on the verge of rebellion.

When I was 12, I was actually still playing with Barbies. Don’t tell anyone. It was 1987 and I was as uncool as it gets. I didn’t really start listening to cool music until I was 13 or 14. I didn’t commit fully to black clothes until I was 15 even though I sported Cure shirts with flower dresses in junior high. I also grew up in a town devoid of cool where it was hard to find good music and the only people I knew who dressed in black were a few of my friends. Things were different back then. There was no internet and no Hot Topic. I discovered Goth on my own and didn’t realize it had a name until I was in high school.

Something I realized yesterday sort of brought me down from my dark castle. Goth isn’t cool anymore. To non-Goths who watched Saturday Night Live and countless other pop culture parodies of the scene, it’s always been a joke. Those of us in it hardly paid any mind, but while we were ignoring the mockery, the world also grew to accept Goth in a way I never liked. You’d see Goth girls in commercials, videos, comic books, and crime dramas. The same thing happened with punk. I remember seeing an episode of CHiPS where a punk guy robbed an old lady. By that time, punk was dead, but it took a few years for mainstream media to catch on and integrate these funny characters into their lexicon. And so it’s happened with Goth. Goth is a joke to most people and especially to kids. In fact, my boyfriend’s daughter’s best friend is going to be a Goth for Halloween. Pre-packaged Goth costumes have been around for a few years, but it never really hit me like it did yesterday. Goth is a Halloween costume.

So now what? I haven’t been to a club in years, most of the outfits I wore are hanging in the closet getting moth holes. While I continue to wear black, dye my hair blue, and dream about future tattoos, in all honestly, I’m not there anymore. Not like I was. I continue to listen to the music and keep up to date with new bands, but that’s not it. It’s that I just don’t associate with it anymore. Goth, the scene. I’ll continue to love spider webs, haunted houses, bats, vampires, and Beetlejuice until the day I die, but I’m not a part of the scene anymore. I haven’t even updated Dark Culture in months. Sure, most of this stems from being in a stable relationship, working on my career, living in a fine house, and being 33. I fight the status quo in new ways and I pay more attention to Barack Obama and Tina Fey than what bands are playing where. And you know what? It’s not so much about the scene, it’s about the music. I recently found out that two bands I would have loved to see played and I missed them. How did that happen?

Perhaps this is just what happens. This is what it must have felt like to my parent’s generation when they saw kids dressed as hippies. You feel like you’re losing touch and it’s not as easy as it once was. But I don’t ever want to say, I used to be. If you’re not totally surrounded by it, it’s easy to let it slip away. Kids, a house, responsibilities, there comes a day when you simply decide not to do it anymore. You don’t even notice it happening. It just does. And that’s why I make extra effort to pay attention. I don’t want to lose touch, but I can see how it could happen if I let it.

Am I annoyed or angry that Goth is a Halloween costume? Not really. Because Goth is a parody, I can’t imagine my boyfriend’s daughter getting into it. Then again, she’s only 12. And even if she doesn’t, I know full well that whatever she chooses to be a part of and however she chooses to dress, she’s going to be one cool chick. She already is. I figure Dark Fairies are a good place to start.


Goths don’t really sport Faux Hawks, but at Target they do. Goths also don’t cheer very much. At least, not in public.

Worst Jesus Evar!

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I was going to post a rant about the douchbags on Craigslist (I’ll do that tomorrow), but then this came up.

Oh. My. God. Literally. The goggles! They do nothing!

What the fuck is this? Why would you want this in your house? How could you look upon this, pray, and reflect? How do you not throw up in your mouth a little when you see this? It should further be noted that along with the image I’ve posted here, there are a few more (even worse) images worth viewing at their site. Make sure your sound is ON. Seriously, you won’t want to miss that.

Jesus may have died for your sins, but why glorify his suffering? I mean, the man was beaten to death, hung on a wooden cross out in the elements, and starved! That’s horrible. It’s an awful way to die. He may be a martyr and that’s great in all that it implies, but I mean…good lord! Why? Why would anyone buy this? Makes me think that Jesus lovers are all a bunch of sick fucks who are (at least a little) sadistic.

http://imagesofheaven.org/Indoor/JesusScourged.html

Thanks to Darren for posting on Twitter.

Coffin Couches

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At first I was like, “Coffin couches! Awesome!” and then I read the description:

We at Coffincouches.com have the mindset of thinking “Green” and we know it is different but we strongly believe in recycling. Our niche happens to be 18 gauge steel coffins which we collected from local funeral homes primarily in Southern California. It is a health and safety law that funeral homes cannot resell used coffins to the general public. We approached funeral directors with the attitude of recycling. These coffins are not used for burial due to slight cosmetic inconsistencies. They are reconfigured and modified resulting in a finished product – a unique one a kind coffin couch. If you notice (although it may be too small) the six cast iron heavy duty legs are embossed with the universal biohazard insignia. The reason we utilize this sign is because safety is our utmost concern. If you are not aware, once a human body is placed in a coffin it is considered biohazard tissue. The legs have the embossed insignia for precautionary reasons in the event body fluids are exchanged on these coffins. Perhaps you would feel safe knowing that you are in designated biohazard scene!
Ha!!

Several points to notice: Coffins are used. Legs are embossed with bio-hazzard symbol “for precautionary reasons in the event body fluids are exchanged on these coffins”

Seriously? I like the idea of recycling coffins, but don’t like the idea of sitting on a piece of furniture that once carried the remains of someone’s loved one. Um, because of the fluid leakage. WTF? How is this OK? And why would someone buy this? Yes, it’s a kick ass looking piece of furniture, but when they explain someone laid in it….just makes it grody and a whole lotta creepy.

Being Goth (as I am), you’d think I’d be alright with this idea. You know, death, funerals, etc. However, having attended my fair share of funerals in the past 4 years, it’s hard to think about the body that must have lay there. Who was it? How did they die? What did they die from? Is there fluid in the creases of the sofa?

While I’m sure the Coffin Couches company thoroughly cleans the piece before they sell it. Why then include the bio-hazard? Why warn people it might be an issue? I also don’t get the part where they say “Perhaps you would feel safe knowing that you are in designated biohazard scene! Ha!!” – what’s with the Ha!!? I don’t get it. Is that funny?

I guess I’ve lost my edge. I wouldn’t be able to watch my Thursday night NBC line-up sitting on something someone was dead (and possibly leaking) on.

Strange Holiday Luck

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It’s raining pretty steady, which is nice, because every year, as we crawl out of Summer, just as we feel like it isn’t ever going to rain, it does. And that’s nice. Christmas is around the corner. By that I mean, it’s literally around the corner. Just a few more shopping days left. As if that wasn’t enough, our annual Christmas Eve family get-together is being held at my new house and this includes about 25 miscellaneous family members. It’s my first nice party (that didn’t include Pabst Blue Ribbon) and it’s the first time most of my family will see the new house. So yeah, no pressure. I’m not all that worried, but I am starting to think I should have started planning about two months ago. Ah, it’ll be fine, but this holiday is coming on faster than any other in my entire life. Wasn’t it just Halloween? No, I guess not.

To add to the holiday madness, my grandmother is sick, depressed, and just tired of living…at least, that’s what she says. The thing is, her most recent prognosis is that she’s got six months (or less) to live. I get it. She’s old, she’s tired, she misses my dad…it’s just, my brain isn’t really processing it. It’s hard for me to fathom that just 9 months after losing my dad, I’m also going to lose my grandmother. Now, for as long as I’ve known my grandmother, she’s been sick in one way or another. She’s always made it through and she’s always gotten back on her feet. Somehow, this feels different. This time, it really feels like this is it. I don’t want to think about it, but I haven’t got any other choice, do I.

On that note, I went to the mall twice today. Once for a work sponsored showing of Sweeney Todd (which was pretty gory, by the way) and then to do some Christmas shopping. Both times, I got really kick ass parking. Earlier at the theater, not only did I get rock star parking, I found a whole five dollar bill on the ground. What?? I never find that kind of money. Maybe a penny or a nickel, but a fiver? What strange luck. Sweeney Todd was on a first come first serve basis, so getting in wasn’t assured. I got in. The movie, two kick ass parking spaces (during the holidays, mind you), a fiver, and bad news about my grandmother. All in one day. Perhaps the movie, parking and fiver were ways of the Universe compensating for the bad news.

I don’t know. I’m tired.

Scattering Remains

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Possible Scattering Of Human Remains On Disney Rides Reported

See link above for full story. Apparently, people are, and have been, scattering the remains of loved ones on rides at Disneyland. I’m not sure I want to be riding Big Thunder Railroad and get pelted with a pile of granddad’s ashes, but I like the idea of my final resting place being the Happiest Place on Earth.

When I die, I want my ashes put into a beautiful urn and placed in the Haunted Mansion cemetery. Know anyone that can pull that off?

kristenhauntedmansion.jpg

When Something Happens…Blog It

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When something happens, blog it. That’s the point right? To catalogue my life and recount my adventures? Sure. Where should I start? So much has happened in the past few weeks that all I can really do at this point is sum up.

My boyfriend and I went to Vegas to see the premiere of the new Cirque du Soleil show Love. Because it’s an homage to the Beatles, the final two were there along with Yoko and several Beatles off-spring. We were invited to the after party where we spotted tons of celebs including Lucas Haas, Kevin Nealon, Kramer, Doogie Howser, the foreign exchange student from American Pie, Wayne Brady, Cory Feldman, and a bunch of other B-listers. Of course, if you throw a stone in Los Angeles, you’re bound to hit any one of the aforementioned. Most importantly, Paul and Ringo were there. At one point I stood only two feet from Paul. He’s such a super celeb that you can almost feel the glow coming off of him. Whatever the Beatles mean to you, they really were one of the greatest bands on Earth. And no, I didn’t talk to Paul. My feet started killing me, so we went up to the Penthouse to change shoes. We fell asleep. Sad. I know. Still, it was pretty cool being at the same party at two of the Beatles. I mean, how many normal people like me ever get to do that? Not that I’m normal…but yeah, it was pretty awesome.

This experience goes to show that I am a bad photographer. Isn’t rule number one: Take your camera wherever you go? I think it is.

I think I mentioned my dad’s moving to New Mexico? I’m pretty bummed out about that. He’s leaving fairly soon. He’ll be gone in a couple of weeks. It could be worse. He could be moving to Omaha.

My boyfriend and I are planning a trip to Europe. I’m finding it difficult to believe that we’re actually planning the trip I’ve dreamt about since I was thirteen. Unlike most Goths, I never found my way back to the mother-ship. I would covet when my friends went on vacations to London or when some jerk talked about how boring Europe is. When my little brother went (he was 13, I was 17) I cried because I wanted to go more than he did. It’s hard to explain how much I’ve wanted this. There are only a handful of things I’ve wanted with all my heart all my life: Photography, writing, love, travel. I’m doing pretty good and it looks like I actually have all the things I’ve wanted. How strange. How wonderful.

I do consider myself fairly lucky, you know. I also think that the Universe owes me for all the crap my previous life has been. Bad luck, bad love, bad jobs, heartbreak. At long last, things are falling into place. I don’t think I’d be this far along if it weren’t for my boyfriend. He’s helped me immensely and I really love him. The skeptic in me can’t help but wonder when the bad luck will come back. I can’t help but wait for something bad to happen. Like in the movies, just when you think everything’s going to be OK, someone dies in a car crash. I find myself wishing and hoping that things stay good, but I’m worried they won’t. OK, sure. I know things don’t always stay good and they don’t always stay bad. I can’t help but worry.

I was at the gas station tonight and as usual, the black men were flirting with me. Don’t ask me why, they just do. The black men love me. It’s not like I got booty or anything. Well, that’s another blog entirely. So I walked out and they started arguing with another black man about who knows what. It got heated and he reached for his gat. What struck me is that there were about 6 other people in the store or filling their tanks. None of them seemed to notice. They absolutely ignored the situation and the reaching of the gat, going about their business. I was all about getting out of there. I wasn’t about to be caught by a stray bullet. Nothing happened. The altercation diffused and the dudes went home. Why was I the only one who thought something might actually go down? Are people that disaffected?

A new podcast went up today. 

New Things, The Castle Green, Finale

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Tonight I spoke on the phone with one of the few ex-boyfriends I’ve ever wanted to continue knowing. My first love, my first sex. We’ve remained friends off and on throughout the last ten years. I’m still amazed that despite it all, he and I can still talk on the phone for hours. We think alike, he and I. He still makes me laugh. It seems like there’s this deep rooted understanding of one another. He’s the kind of person I need as a friend. As he’s finally moved to Los Angeles from the back woods of Oxnard, he and I are able to hang out with much more efficiency. He’s an amazing person and I’m so glad we’re friends again. He’s an insightful and curious fellow. We agree on many things and are able to share similar experiences. It’s good to have people around you with whom you can connect.

I woke up this morning and felt like a million bucks. It was the sort of day where I felt like today is the first day of the rest of my life. The kind of morning where you feel like everything dismal and depressing has suddenly washed away with the rain. The sun shines upon green sprouts, birds are singing, and a renewed sense of self consumes you. One of those mornings. You know.

It was a good day at work. I got paid and put a little something back into my savings account. I’m far from settled with the bills and debts, but I know it won’t be long. This afternoon, my boss brought in a large photograph of the reception room at the Castle Green, the building in which my salon is located. An older photograph, no more than 20 years old, you can clearly see several ghostly figures. I spotted at least four, but was told that there are in fact six total. One figure, standing near one of the pillars, sent chills throughout my body. It was amazing. The photograph was supposed to be used for promotional purposes advertising the reception hall, but has become an oddity that few have actually seen. How my boss acquired it today, he didn’t say. He took it back very quickly.

It’s common knowledge that the Hotel Green (or Castle Green) is haunted. Built in 1898, it’s the sort of place you expect to see ghosts. The building itself is so spectacular, I find it odd that I work within it. Late at night, you hear things, you see things. I haven’t encountered any unfriendly spirits, in fact, I’ve only once seen a passing shadow. You hear stories and you imagine they’re true. Official Site to the Castle Green I believe the building is divided into two parts…The Hotel Green, which is HUD housing and The Castle Green which is leased/owned apartments and includes facilities for weddings and events. I’m told the building is obviously two separate buildings, but I can’t seem to tell. The residents of the HUD housing are generally developmentally disabled, therefore, we encounter many strange characters on a day to day basis. Some of which smell very badly. Sally, or “Sally the Retard” (as my boss calls her) comes by almost daily. She’s a sweet girl with a tiny dog named Buddy. I love Buddy and Buddy loves me. She’s nice and all, but she doesn’t seem to know when to leave. She’ll get on my boss’ nerves with her incessant talking. The only way he can get rid of her is to be mean to her. She’ll smile and laugh only to return the next day. She really is nice, but I can see how she’s annoying.

I’ve got a weekend full of plans. Today is the first day I’ve really felt OK being single. Somehow I’ve felt as though being single was this curse only spinsters fell victim to. I really feel that it’s the only way I’ll be able to take care of business. Despite the constant nagging of my intuition, knowing the truth about my most recent “relationship” has placed me back into reality. I feel a sense of closure. He’s gone and it really is over. I never wanted to believe that he and I shouldn’t have gotten together. I used to think, that for what it was worth, we were…for a time, good together. And even though I knew it all along, I felt glad for the time we shared. It was (as Kirk once said) fun. I used to think he was the coolest person I ever knew. It’s sad when your ideas about people shatter. When you can’t see anything but the lies and their fucked-up emotional baggage. Maybe he cared for me. I won’t ever know and now it doesn’t matter. As the French say, c’est la vie. How fitting.

Today a client said, don’t sweat the little things. We weren’t talking about anything in particular. He just said it. I’d said it to myself yesterday. How funny.