Category Archives: wedding

Good Morning, Paris

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Somewhere in between the last post and now, AJB and I got married. The wedding reached far beyond my expectations and it was, as it was supposed to be, the happiest day of my life. I mean, I’ve had some beautiful days in my life, but this is among the top 3; the other two being arbitrary numbers I came up with for the purposes of this blog.

All the details of my wedding day are still being formulated in my mind and there is, at the moment, no way to put them down. I’ve tried. I think I’ll wait until I have photos.

I am, currently, sitting at the window overlooking houses and apartments, the backdrop of which is a grey Paris sky. A cool breeze floats in from time to time, the weather indicates rain on the horizon. Until then, it is stunning and actually rather comfortable.

We arrived in Paris sometime yesterday morning. We got to our hotel, the room wasn’t ready, so we strolled down the Champs-Élysées with the intent of seeing the Arc de Triomphe – which is very close. So very tired from the long flight, we stopped for coffee at a cafe on the way. AJB was chided by the waiter for ordering onion soup and coffee; against the recommendation of wine. I couldn’t help but laugh. Not because my darling had proven to this waiter that Americans are uncultured cretins, but the face the guy made was priceless. He was so offended, as if in one fell swoop, AJB has managed to insult all of France; at least as far as our angry waiter was considered. I suppose we should have known that when ordering onion soup, coffee is the worst thing you can drink with it. I’d imagine, working in a cafe on the Champs-Élysées, he doesn’t often run into tourists.

I thought it was hilarious because as an American, I’ve always heard about how rude the French are and here we were, only a few hours into the country and we’d already run into one. Other than that, everyone else has been delightful, helpful, and very sweet. I should also mention, that despite staying quiet and trying not to embarrass myself, I was also chided for using a fork instead of a spoon to eat my custard with. Go figure.

And then we slept. Jet lag took over completely and day turned to night. During that time, we watched a bit of French television – a whole lot of American TV dubbed into French, which is strange and fascinating.

Today we’re catching the train to London. AJB’s cousin Judy is putting on a play; we’ll be staying with the London cousins. Cousins all around. We’ll have dinner and stuff. I love London.

So far, this is the best honeymoon I’ve ever been on. It being the only honeymoon I’ve ever been on. I love my husband and I love Paris and I love London. Love, love, love.

16 Days to Go

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It’s been hitting me for a year, but it’s only really started hitting me over the last few weeks. I mean, really sinking in: I’m getting married.

When I was 9 years old, I was playing in my grandfather’s backyard in Pico Rivera. I was making mud pies – not because I necessarily liked mud, but because I felt that it was something kids should do and I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. Conclusion? It was dirty. Mom called me to the house and as I ran towards the door, a thought flashed into my brain: I’ll never get married. I stopped dead in my tracks and wondered why I’d thought that. At 9, I was already fairly perceptive and knew that it was strange for a 9 year old to have such thoughts. However, being 9, I quickly wiped it from my mind and went about the rest of my day. Thing is, it stuck with me.

Not that I let this thought control my future or decide how I should live my life. Nor did I look upon it as a premonition. Strange thing is, it still pops into my head when I think about getting married – yet, here I am, 16 days to go, getting married – 9 year old me be damned.

What does any of that mean? Nothing.

When I tell people I’m getting married, they all congratulate me and tell me how much fun I must be having. They’re only half right. While all this massive amounts of planning has it’s high points, it’s also filled with a great deal of anxiety and dread. Not for the man I’m marrying, but for the large scale event that we are undertaking. We’re talking at least 150 people (maybe less), out-of-towners, people I haven’t seen in years, family, friends, dressing up, looking good, making speeches, dancing in front of a crowd, talking in front of a crowd, social graces, being wonderful, and not freaking out. Except, all that makes me freak out.

9 must have been an odd year. It was also at age 9 that I learned to fear speaking in front of crowds. I was, in fact, one of the best spellers in my entire school. That’s not saying much, if you knew the school I went to. Regardless, I was asked to be a part of the regional spelling bee. You know, one of those that could lead to even bigger spelling bees, like the kind kids faint at. I studied hard, I knew my words, I was confident. I got up there, my first round. The word was “cough”. I spelled “couch”. People laughed and I was done. Game over. I don’t remember crying, but I do recall the weight of shame and horror I felt. Since then, I have a hard time getting in front of people – even if it’s just showing off my hilarious comedy skills.

In high-school, I attempted to conquer my fears and joined the drama club. I couldn’t even audition in front of the teacher. I stood there, sweating like an idiot and actually walked out of the room without a word, never to return.

As much as I know where my fears spring from, it doesn’t make it easier. The last time I spoke in front of a group was at Hot Topic almost 3 years ago. They made us do some kind of lame skit that involved me writing a hilarious speech. And it was hilarious, in context to what we were doing. I got a few chuckles from the people who “got” my jokes – you must understand, I don’t play for the bottom feeders, I use only high brow comedy in situations like these. And truth be told, my comedy isn’t for everyone. I’m often far too subtle.

I digress, while up on stage, my body shook, my hands trembled, my ears rang, my face heated up, my voice wavered, and boy did I sweat! I made it through, but it was hard and there were a few moments where I felt as though I might actually pass out.

Unlike Albert Brooks in “Defending Your Life”, I completed the task I was afraid of, but it didn’t make me feel better and I’m still afraid of speaking in front of groups.

I think perhaps my biggest fear about the wedding, isn’t so much how well the event goes off – I know everything will be fine – but that I will be on display for an entire evening. I will be congratulated by people I know and don’t know. I will dance, eat, cut the cake, throw my garter, and all those awesome things people do at weddings – all in front of hundreds of eyes. I will also proclaim my undying love for AJB – for the whole world to see. I mean, that’s a big deal, right? A really big deal.

It goes without saying that I am happy about the whole thing in general. 9 year old fears aside, I realize that weddings are one of those times in life where (if you’re lucky) you don’t get a do-over. The idea is that you do it once and that’s it. You get one chance to get it right, to be fabulous and throw an event that people will remember forever. No pressure.

I’m also filled with a deep sadness regarding the absence of my Dad at my wedding. He won’t walk me down the aisle, he won’t give me away, he won’t dance with me, and he won’t give an embarrassing speech about how he wasn’t sure he liked AJB in the beginning, but grew to appreciate him – without actually saying how much he appreciates him, or how AJB has numerous faults, but no, just kidding, he’s a good guy. I know that there will be a million points during my wedding where I will be unable to contain my sadness and others where I will be unable to contain my joy. I will, instead, dance with my brothers – who I adore.

I know. It’s all going to be great and everything will be fine.

Our Lovely Shower

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My sister and Mom hosted a co-ed wedding shower for AJB and I today. It was lovely. My Mom spent the last month cleaning her yard and house, getting it ready and decorating it to a tee. My sister coordinated, brainstormed, had it catered, sent the invites, helped decorate and was an all around delightful hostess. In the mix, my sister-in-law was my sister’s right hand woman. My aunt Carol busted ass with my Mom to get the house ready. It was an all together amazing feat and they all did such a wonderful job. It was just great.

It was better than I hoped and better than I feel I deserve. It’s like, wow, all this for me and AJB? I can’t tell you how special we felt. We got a good turn out and even though some people didn’t show up (even though they said they would and didn’t even call to cancel) we were surrounded by people we love.

The biggest bummer of the day was that AJB’s kids couldn’t make it. I suppose I shouldn’t get into WHY they weren’t there. It’s not important, but I hope they know how much we missed them today. We really did.

Aside from the absent kids, it was just a spectacular day that went by entirely too fast. Mom had the yard just perfect with cafe lights and a white canopy. Every nook and cranny was clean and organized and filled with something – a plant or yard ornament. And it all looked so pretty.

I’m really bummed that I didn’t have a camera to capture moments or the decor, but it’s my fault – I should have planned ahead instead of expecting someone else to do it – it’s never a good idea to assume anything anyway. Luckily, AJB’s cousin Mike had a camera and took some fantastic photos of the day. Click here.

Did I mention we got presents?? Yeah, we totally did. Lots of presents! It was like frickin’ Christmas! Actually, I didn’t expect gifts at all. I was just happy people showed up. The best part about the gifts was that everyone was so thoughtful. Not one lame gift in the bunch. People even decorated or wrapped the gifts in Halloween themed wrapping. Wow.

I really am overwhelmed. In fact, I’m finding it hard to describe how I feel. I feel loved, that’s all. I’ve always known this, but AJB and I are surrounded by some pretty phenomenal people; really amazing people. Today, it was just so apparent. We have great family and great friends.

I know I’m leaving out details, I’m writing less than eloquently, and being extra girly. It’s after 1am and I’m exhausted. Happy and exhausted.

To everyone that helped pull this off and to everyone that attended, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you.

Working Like Mad

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How’s that “five day work week” go again? Over the weekend, I was handed a massive photo job involving loads of merchandise, a model, and even more photo editing. Whenever I feel exhausted (because I’ve been putting in 12 hour days) I remind myself that this is what I wanted. Here we go. This is my career. I wanted this. Most of the items in this project are rush items. Because I love this company and I want their continued business, I dropped the rush charge – that would be the 50% upcharge for work delivered in under 72 hours. Forget about it. This job is hefty enough. And this company has been good to me. I can afford to be good to them. I also really like my contacts over there. They seem like stand up guys.

I’ve been working in the studio more than ever – A.K.A. the garage. It’s only about 50% cleared, but I have space to work. I love working in there. I love it so much. On Saturday, I started work in the morning steaming t-shirts and as the heat rose, I thought I should go buy a thermometer, just to see exactly how hot. Turns out, it got to 91 degrees in there. And that’s nothing. It wasn’t even a particularly hot day. It was 80 degrees outside, 91 in the studio. Can you imagine what it’s like in 98 degree weather? By the thermometer’s logic, that would make it 109 in the studio! AJB finally caved and bought his poor, heat stroked fiancee a portable air conditioner. As he came home with the appliance, I stated, “Watch, as soon as we plug it in, the weather’s going to cool off.” Lo, I was right. It’s been a lovely 75 fucking degrees! Jesus. Ain’t it always the way? Well, through the end of the month, it looks like we’ll reach the high 90′s. I’m not wishing for another heat wave, I just want to make sure I use that sucker after all the fuss I made.

As I’m working hard, my eyes are burning with the heat of at least 1200 fires. I suppose this means I need new glasses. This has been the year that I’ve noticed I need my glasses more and more. Like, all the time. I’ve worn reading glasses since I was 17, but I could always get away with not wearing them all the time. These days, Grandma Kristen needs her spectacles. One of the numerous benefits to getting married is having health insurance and (hopefully) eye coverage. Teeth even?

On that note, HOLY CRAP THE WEDDING IS ONLY 46 DAYS AWAY!!!! No, I’m not panicking. I’m freaking the fuck out. We have so much to do. Our wedding planner – the girl that’s making it all happen – is out of town. Her father had a stroke and she’s (as she should be) attending to him. I can’t help but feel like…OMG bad timing! Does that make me a bad person? The selfish part of me is annoyed, the human part of me knows how tough it is when your Dad is sick. I’m sending her good thoughts. Except, now we’re on our own.

To get an idea of where we’re at, here are several important things we need to do: Wedding invites, bridesmaid dresses, grooms’s attire, groomsman’s attire, rehearsal dinner, wedding rings, outfits for the flower kids, wedding night reservations, honeymoon plans, slim the budget substantially, I need to figure out how I want my hair and make-up, alter dress, lose 10 more pounds, make appt. to get hair extensions (it’s gonna look cool), buy wedding shoes, take photo (or Photoshop) for special reception decor, write wedding vows, make favors, make bridesmaid bouquets, and a JILLION other little things.

AJB and I are lazy fucks. We lag on just about everything. When it’s come to the wedding, we’ve been less than proactive. Sure, in the last few months, we’ve gotten a bit more on the ball, but we’re not where we should be. Thankfully, we have lots of help. We’ve also been hellishly busy. Once the kids came back from vacation, we’ve both been working like mad. Who has time to design wedding invites? Yet, it has to get done.

On that note, I have a lot of work to do today.

Catching up is Caught

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As usual, I don’t manage to write for a while and so much happens in between posts that I can’t figure out how to fit it all into one bite sized chunk. I then worry that I have so much to say, I’ll just end up writing a 2000 word post and annoy my two readers.

*sigh*

What I end up doing is summing up and I think I really miss the point of this blog. That is, to capture the events of my life as they unfold. The events have already unfolded and are now a bit wrinkled.

Over the last two weeks, my Mom, JCS and I have been busting ass to assemble my Save the Dates. I lie, mostly, it was Mom and JCS. They really came through. Mom spent a week at my house, staying up late, cutting out little skeletons, punching decorative bats into envelopes, addressing, and doing other miscellaneous tasks. JCS came over everyday and helped a whole lot too. I helped as much as I could, but guess what? I took a bad fall down the stairs and was out of commission right in the middle of the project. Luckily, I didn’t break anything, but I was beaten up and bruised. My legs and knees still hurt, even though I’m mobile. I spent several days in bed.

Over Mother’s Day weekend, my sister and sister-in-law came into town and got wrangled into a couple of all nighters. They’d originally came down to see Star Trek with me and celebrate Mother’s Day, but as it turned out, Mom had a wedding to attend and was gone for 3 days. Even though I was aching, I forced myself to the theater to see Star Trek. I could write an entire post on that movie. For now, I’ll just say it was good and I liked it. A lot.

We managed to get 95% of the Save the Dates out on time. You see, we’d bought these amazing Edgar Allan Poe stamps, but as fate would have it, the price of postage went up today. Rather than attach a stupid 2 cent stamp, we set a deadline which only gave us 10 days to finish. All I can say is, my family really came through for me. I can’t tell you how lucky I feel to have a family that will stay up all hours of the night getting hand cramps cutting out skeletons, attaching brads, punching lace, and stamping. This was the Project Royale – the project of all projects and my family brung it! We still have a few more to send out as addresses trickle in, but those will wait a few days and get 2 cent stamps.

And while all this is going on, I’ve started an internship with a super famous, amazing photographer named David LaChapelle. I don’t think the gravity of this position has sunk in just yet. Firstly, this is an outstanding opportunity for me. As a photographer, to watch a master at work…well, that’s priceless. And when I say priceless, I mean, I’m not getting paid. But I look at it this way: Interning is like going to school. They don’t pay you, you pay them. I’m getting a one of a kind education here and all that is required is my time. Besides, I happen to know that plenty of photographers would give their right arm to intern for this guy. Furthermore, aside from cleaning and answering phones, I’m also being given the chance to see how a lucrative photography business is run from behind the scenes. No college in the world teaches you that. When it comes to advanced lighting technique and organizing a grand scale photoshoot for Rolling Stone…well, they don’t teach that at Brooks. I mean, what does it take to get where he’s at? How did he get there? Granted, he is an amazing talent and while I’m good at what I do, I’m not that good. Truth be told, photographers on his level have a lot of help. Me? I’m on my own.

Today was my first day. So much happened. I will write about it, just not tonight.

Wedding is Go

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I always think about things I want to blog about, but never get around to it. Why is that?

My sister is in town for the week in an effort to help me plan my wedding. AJB and I got engaged in October 2008 and since then, we’ve done very little to plan this gala event; that is to say, the event of the year. We’ve booked the venue and have made a preliminary guest list (which at the moment nearly reaches 300). We have a few scatterbrained ideas, but nothing concrete and no vendors have been booked.

When I look at the wedding checklists I am inundated with, I become overwhelmed. People keep telling me that this is supposed to be fun, but it’s actually rather stressful. It’s not about impressing people with my management skills or decor ideas, it’s about pulling it off. Really pulling if off. It’s fun in a rather twisted, masochistic way. It’s torture, but it’s enjoyable and amusing.

The best part has been talking with my sister (my Maid of Honor). She’s so funny and smart and allows me to go into whatever zone I need to. I’d say she’s accommodating, but she’s also a great sounding board and isn’t afraid to tell me what she thinks. Ah, the perfect Maid of Honor. I am so very thankful she’s here this week. In fact, I wish she’d never leave or that she lived closer. Anyway, it would help. Alas, things are the way they are and the good news is, we have internets for the communicating.

Today we really kicked into gear. I found out about marriage licenses, posted an ad for a photographer, talked to a caterer, started data entering the guest list, and discussed other miscellaneous ideas. I also found out that the caterer will chew up at least 50% of our budget and that there are a lot of really crappy wedding photographers out there. As a photographer myself, this has been educational.

I’ve learned various things about the wedding photographer’s method:

1. No portfolio is a bad thing. You won’t get the job.
2. Link to you site. Don’t ask me to Google you.
3. If you don’t have wedding shots in your portfolio, you should probably work on that.
4. Don’t charge too much. The economy is bad.
5. If your website is ugly, I’m moving on.
6. Don’t congratulate me on my wedding. I know you don’t really care.
7. Read the ad. 80% of the responses don’t apply to my specifications.
8. Website slide-shows are inane if I can’t control how fast they move or when. Galleries are better.
9. Right. Website music is bad. You don’t have the same taste in music as your client.
10. Put your prices and options where I can find them.
11. Don’t confess that you have no experience, I can figure that out and it makes you look bad.
12. I’m the bride, give me what I want.

#12 is a little bitchy, but as far as I’m concerned, this planning a wedding thing is like running a business. I have to be in top form to get this handled and you, the wedding photographer, are my lowly employee. I pay you to capture my special moments and dammit, you better do it! Capture my special moments!

I mostly jest, but I mostly don’t. You’d be amazed how terrible some of the responses have been. It’s almost a joke. I can’t imagine HOW these photographers make money shooting weddings. I assume they shoot one or two friend’s weddings, make a slide show and then start charging.

Oh well. We’ve only just begun. I’m really trying not to stress, but it’s all so overwhelming. How do you create the most special day of your life? Think about that for a second. This day, your wedding day, is touted as one of the most important days of your life. That’s a lot of pressure. Like I said, I just want to pull this thing off. I expect hitches whilst getting hitched and I expect that not everything will go as planned. That said, I am thankful for the aid of my sister, my family, my groom-to-be, and my own self preservation instincts.