Category Archives: Photo

unpacking

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Moving into our new house has been pretty great. We’ve got worries and not everything is perfect, but this morning I walked out on my porch (my big, fat porch!) just as the sun was coming up and I heard a rooster in the distance. The air was cool and crisp and smelled like jasmine. Maybe it was honeysuckle. I get those two mixed up. I thought, it’s like a poem or something. Sure, there’s still construction junk on my big, fat porch, but something in the air smells sweet and I feel good. I like where I live and I feel pretty damned good about that.

I was worried I’d miss Pasadena…like I was far away or something. While Altadena isn’t Pasadena, it’s close enough for jazz. I have to go down the hill all the time for everything anyway. It’s not like I really left. The more I learn about Altadena, the more I like it. It’s a neat little town and what it lacks in shopping and dining it makes up for in colorful characters, nice neighbors, and WOW! THE MOUNTAINS ARE REALLY CLOSE! It’s just kind of pretty here. It’s pretty in a “I never really looked at it before” kind of way.

Today I’m unpacking and attempting to organize my kitchen. It’s slow going because I’d rather be taking a nap so I end up wasting time writing blog entries. I’m pretty tired. It’s been non-stop for a few weeks and I haven’t really had any time to unwind. In fact, I’ve been complaining I need a vacation since my honeymoon a year and a half ago. What I really want is a weekend getaway with my husband. Some place like Big Sur or Catalina. Wishful thinking. Too much to do and not enough time. And let’s face it, money ain’t cheap. The good news is because no one ever labels boxes correctly (myself absolutely included) unpacking has kind of been like Christmas. What’s in the box? Could be anything in there! I just unwrapped my 1970′s green glass collection. I started my collection with a few pieces I inherited from my grand mother. AJB kind of hates them. I can’t tell you how much I love them. Childhood, Kool-Aid, look at how pretty they are? I’ve always loved them, ever since I was a kid. I also found my Chinese tea set – I got it at the 99 Ranch Market a few years ago for 10 bucks. I’ve never used it, but I’m having a hard time putting it in the yard sale box.

So here it is….Merry Christmas

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It’s Christmas Day. The presents are wrapped, the house is a mess and we’ve got people coming over in 3 hours. I’m actually in a great mood.

Last night was truly wonderful. I love my family (as crazy as they are) and I love spending time with them. Not everyone was there, but those who came made the night memorable. My aunt had a neighbor who was dressing up as Santa and offered to come by to treat the kids. My eldest little cousin, Erika, began telling me that she didn’t believe in Santa – she’s 7 years old – but as soon as Santa started up the walkway she lost her shit and began screaming as if Justin Bieber was coming towards the house. As AJB said, there are no atheists in fox holes. All the kids were so excited and I managed to get some video. As soon as I take a look at it and pretty it up for the web, I’ll pass it around to family. For the first time ever, we sang Christmas carols as a family – oh and I got video of that too. It was a night filled with conversation, laughing at Xander every time he did a cartwheel and his butt crack hung out, drinking, eating, and making merry. The kids were high on sugar and ran around like Christmas maniacs. The gift exchange was fun (as always) and some good gifts circulated the room. I ended up with a pair of beautiful chop sticks, a small tiffin set, and Pocky. AJB got the quesadilla maker, which is appropriate because I think he’s the only one in the family who doesn’t know how to make quesadillas – being a Mid-Western Jew and all. Grandma was there and in good spirits. She looked lovely as always. My Mother-in-Law came and had a great time. It was a good night and I hope we have many more to come.

Wrapping paper is the epitome of wastefulness. You use it once and then toss it out. These days, more and more papers are recyclable, but hardly anyone is selling paper made out of recycled paper and it’s often expensive. Furthermore, if your city recycles the paper, you have to remove the tape. What a pain. Every year I TRY really hard to wrap my gifts in some form of recycled material. This year, I made it happen and the results are pretty fantastic, if you ask me.

Most years I simply re-use old wrapping paper, gift bags, or saved tissue paper. I finally found a use for all those paper shopping bags I’ve been saving. I wrapped everything in old paper shopping bags, hemp twine, and paper doilies. I’m not sure how eco-friendly the paper doilies or the scotch tape are, but for the most part I did pretty great and people are telling me they look nice – so I guess they do. I cut the labels out of scrap paper from the bags with scalloped craft scissors. While I was looking up inspiration for this year’s eco-wrapping, I came across a great idea for next year: Old maps. I always see them at thrift stores. I think I’ll start collecting for 2011. I’m pretty happy with the results and I feel really great about not wasting paper. Paper bags are definitely recyclable in more ways than one.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Oh, that we could always see such spirit through the year

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ARE people nicer during the holidays? I’ve noticed a few more people actually held doors open for me – I always hold doors for people and when I’m preoccupied and let the door slam in their face, I apologize. Seemed to me people were in bad moods this year. Not just me. Everyone seems to be kinda annoyed with the holiday. People in general seem worried about the economy, yet I just read an article that said we’re setting records this year. How’s that work? The economy is bad and we’re spending more money than ever? Perhaps this is why everyone’s in such tight fixes.

Ever since my Dad died I’ve become increasingly cold towards Christmas. I’m not one of those people who needs Christmas to be perfect and then implodes when it isn’t. Here’s what I want for Christmas:

  • Get gifts for my loved ones
  • Have my shopping done before Christmas Eve
  • Watch my favorite Christmas movies: It’s a Wonderful Life, How The Grinch Stole Christmas, A Charlie Brown Christmas, Miracle on 34th St., and A Christmas Story.
  • Bake cookies
  • Have and decorate a Christmas tree
  • Spend time with my family and have fun
  • Go to a Christmas party or two



    • So far I’ve done two of those things and they both relate to shopping. This year, however, I kept my gift limit to $20 and I pretty much stayed in budget. Only one or two went over because of insane shipping prices. Overall, I did pretty well and I think I got some nice gifts for my family. I’m also wrapping my gifts in paper bags, twine, and simple embellishments. They really look nice and the bonus: Recycling.

    *le sigh* I guess everyone’s been tense this year. You can kind of feel it in the air. Cashiers are glum, shoppers look worried, families are fighting, and I didn’t get a Christmas tree this year. Oh, I got the little ones AJB bought, but I didn’t get to decorate them. I was playing Left 4 Dead 2 with my brothers when it happened and wasn’t given fair enough warning; although I was told I had been.

    Yesterday I didn’t get anything done. I felt like I was in a car most of the day. We had lunch and then took my Mother-in-Law to see the new house – and also meet with the contractor to give him money. The house is coming along. All of the demo is done. The murder shed is gone, the ugly white cabinet that was blocking a beautiful window is gone, lots of ugliness is gone. Unearthed beneath the murder shed was 100 year old siding in a deep forest green. We think this was the original color of the house. The siding’s in great condition and there’s a slim chance most of it might be preserved under the stucco, which would be awesome. Eventually we’ll get to the outside of the house and we’re thinking we’ll restore it back to it’s original (or near original) look. I like the siding a lot.

    Now we start the…uh…what are we starting now? Technically we should be starting electrical, but our bids were so discombobulated we’ve had to start over. Again. The house will be upgraded to 120 amps (is that right? Is it amps?), we’ll have ethernet all over the house, all the superfluous wiring in the basement will be taken out – if it’s dead, it’s gone – new outlets, new light-switch plates for all the missing ones, a couple of phone lines in AJB’s office, a ceiling light in my office, better lighting in AJB’s office, push button switches in the downstairs, and I think that’s it. We’re also moving some ill advised switches to more convenient locations.

    By the time I got home yesterday, it was 5:30pm and I was kinda pooped. AJB and his mom had more shopping to do and I was going to help my brother make mashed potatoes. Except, he had to leave and now I’m making the mashed potatoes he’s taking to Christmas Eve. Go figure. Because I was having a bad day, I decided to treat myself to a glass of wine. Except, we packed all our wine glasses and yes, even the cork screw. I must continue to remind myself that NO ONE thought we’d still be in storage by December. It was inconceivable at the time, but certain things grind my gears like packing up the cork screw. Why? Had I actually done the packing, I’m not sure I would have stowed it. Serves me right. So then I tried to push the cork through and it’s one of those not-a-cork corks and was jammed in pretty tight. By now I was really frustrated and decided to venture out to buy a new one. I stood in line at Rite-Aid for 15 minutes while three cashiers SLOWLY rang up customers, none of them with smiles on their faces, and the lady behind me kept pushing her cart into my ankles. All I wanted was to relax and have a glass of wine.

    I used to love Christmas. I used to get so happy when I’d see the decorations and lights on the streets. I’d hear music and my heart would sing. Not this year. This year I kinda just want it to be over with. I miss my Dad and all the traditions I’ve held dear which are rather nonexistent. My husband also told me that he can take or leave Christmas. I mean, he’s a Jew after all, but his family has always celebrated Christmas. Don’t you lose Jew points for celebrating Christmas? He also doesn’t celebrate Hanukkah. Bad Jew. I watch him getting into the spirit and he seems to really enjoy it, but then to say he can take it or leave it. Man. Last year I swore this year’s Christmas would be better. It’s somehow worse. That we’re not in our house, no tree, no movies, no baking, all rushing around, tired all the time…people are in crappy moods. Christmas seems more like something we endure rather than celebrate. When Charlie Brown exclaims “Isn’t there anybody who knows what Christmas is all about?” I feel his pain. Next year will be better. We’ll be in our new house, I’ll have a tree, and perhaps…just perhaps, I’ll be in a better mood.

    Appropriately, I woke up with this in my head this morning: I think Charlie sums it up best.

    Merry Christmas everyone.

    Baby It’s Cold Outside

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    I don’t know if I was dreaming, but just before I woke up – and I’m not sure if I was half asleep or not – my brain was shuffling through data and coming up with a great deal of gibberish. Almost as if it were the sound an old VCR fast forwarding through a movie. I remember thinking that I hadn’t landed on a song for this morning and was kind of bummed out. Except, for some reason I’ve got “Baby It’s Cold Outside” in my head. I think I sang it to AJB just before we got up – or vice versa. Either way, it’s morning, it’s in my head.

    I went to the house yesterday to peek on the progress and so far lots is happening. Two guys were out in the rain disassembling the murder shed. The murder shed is part of the original house, I think perhaps it was intended for quick storage as it’s right off the kitchen. The house’s large-for-California basement might have been where they kept most of the stored goods and the murder shed was where they kept things they’d need right away. The worker guy, Alex, told me that the wood was so rotten that all they had to do was start pushing and the thing started coming down on it’s own. Good riddance.

    It’s really hard to be eco-friendly when you’re fixing up a house. It’s not that it’s hard, it’s just expensive and time consuming. I’m working on coming up solutions and have been carrying on-going discussions with the contractor about how to recycle as much as possible. Anything that looks salvageable I’m putting on Craigslist and looking for recyclers. We have a few pieces going on Craiglist next week.

    The first item is a 1950′s Swedish stove (we call it the Dutch Oven) and second is a mid-century style front door screen. Both are in great condition, but have got to go. The stove is a hazard and totally illegal in it’s current location. Someone would have to install it properly and frankly, that’s where our jumbo-tron is going. The screen door is in pretty great shape, but the front door is so pretty we thought we’d like to show it off a bit better. Anyway, if anyone wants to make us an offer on these pieces before they hit Craigslist, let me know. I wouldn’t even begin to know how to price the stove. I’m betting that if you managed to find one in this good of shape, it would cost anywhere from $500-$1000 maybe more. After all, it’s rare and it’s vintage. I love Mid-Century design, we just have no use for it. We’re also not really into the 50′s ski lodge thing.

    It’s Cookie Fest with Mom today. I just might have some pics for tomorrow.

    Photo Notes for a Jerk

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    Whenever I talk to a new client, I open up an application called Sticky Note and just start taking dictation. I try to take as good of notes as possible and sometimes I try to write down exactly what they’re saying. In August of 2008 I had a client who was a self-proclaimed celebrity and was planning the birthday of his 2 year old daughter. Now, when I say self-proclaimed, I’m being justifiably harsh. He was actually on a reality show and his wife is (or was) a Playboy Bunny who was also on several reality shows. Imagine if you will, the type of guy who not only takes himself too seriously, but is convinced that because he was on a reality show he’s on the same level as Martin Scorsese. Further imagine a greasy, not attractive, too into himself, sort of chap who somehow ended up with a gorgeous wife – one he’s not very nice to – and a cute daughter. It’s this man who called me to photograph his daughter’s birthday party and wanted me to treat it as if I was making a movie. I get it. I’m a storyteller. Except, I wasn’t sure what the story was besides a 2 year old’s birthday party. He began to ramble and I took notes. We talked for several hours.

    If you can make it through the notes (sorry for the ALL CAPS) it offers some insight into the mind of a self-involved reality star. Valuable? No, but entertaining. Remember, I’m just writing down what he’s saying. And also, try to remember that this is for a two year old’s birthday party.

    ASST NEED TO HIRE – STORY BOARD IN MY BRAIN – NOT JUST SHOOTING PICTURES – TELLING A STORY –

    1:30PM – GET THERE AT 1PM – HALF HOUR TO SHOOT THE FAMILY SINGLE SHOTS – SET UP TIME – ONE DAY TO PREP – DAY OF – SHOW UP EARLY TO SET UP AND GET READY – MAKE SURE TO TEST SHOT – THIS GUY IS REALLY ANAL – CLEAR OUT CLUTTERED TABLES – ESTABLISHING MID SHOTS – CLOSE UPS – ONE SET OF BALLOONS – TILTED JUST A LITTLE BIT FOR EFFECT – TWEAK THE KIDS? WHAT?

    1:30
    THEATER, PUPPETS – WELCOMING THE CHILD – PUPPETS WILL GIVE HER THE GIFT – GIVE HER A CROWN – SET UP WITH THEM – WITH WHO? ARRIVAL OF BDAY GIRL AND FRIENDS – AT TABLE, PUPPETEER GIVES A CROWN, CUT HER CAKE, STAND UP ON HER CHAIR TO DO SOMETHING, AND THEN INTO THE THEATER. SHOOT PRESENTS – WHERE DO I WANT HER TO BE – I DECIDE – INTRO TO THE PUPPET SHOW – SURROUND HER, SET UP, VIDEO AND SHOOT AT THE SAME TIME – DEF. NEED AN ASSISTANT – 25 SKITS – AND THEN THAT’S IT. FADES OUT. 2 MINS LONG – FENG SHUI DICATES WHERE EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE – STORY IN THE BACKGROUND TOUCHING THE CHARACTER – IF IT’S DONE…START OUT ESB. COLOR OF THEATER, BOX OFFICE, SHOT OF VICTORIA AND THE DAD AND BABY – AS SOON AS KIDS COME IN BLACK AND WHITE – COLOR GOES BACK IN VIDEO FOR HAPPY BIRTHDAY VIDEO – BACK TO BLACK AND WHITE PICS – TRANSITION INTO THE THEATER IN COLOR – VIDEO IN COLOR – INTO THEATER, ASK ABOUT A SPECIAL SEAT FOR TREASE – RUGS IN THERE – HAVE HER FRIENDS AROUND HER, SCOOT HER OUT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE – GET HER REACTION – GET THE SKIT – $500 – $250 IN CASH – $250 GIFT CERTS TO SKIN SPA – PAYMENT UPON COMPLETION

    VIDEO ON MP4 – 3 VIDEOETTES – BIRTHDAY, BEGINNING OF PUPPET SHOW, SKIT, AND WHATEVER ELSE, SO COOL FOR ME TO SHOOT,

    PICK A DATE, GO DOWN THERE, MIGHT BE SOME PAPARAZZO, STORY BOARD WHAT I’M DOING, WORK WITHIN MY CONFINES, WE ALL NEED TO BE ON THE SAME PAGE, AN HOUR AND A HALF, PICTURES OF CLOWNS, PART OF THE ESTABLISHING SHOTS, BIRTHDAY VIGNETTE, DREAM SEQUENCE, HOW IS IT GOING TO END, END ON THE PUPPET, A LIGHT, OR SOMETHING.

    3 COLOR IF LUCKY
    1 COLOR CLIP
    1 TRANSITION CLIP

    1-130 TO SHOOT FAMILY

    SCOPE OUT
    STRAIGHT UP, FORMAL SHOTS,

    SHINING, LA CONFIDENTIAL, CHINATOWN, RENT THOSE AND STYLIZE IT, POP IT, SO STYLIZED THAT IT LOOKS LIKE IT’S PHOTOSHOPPED, STOP OF TIME, “HOW DID YOU PUT THIS WHOLE THING TOGETHER AND TELL THIS STORY?”

    BOB BAKER
    213-250-9995
    1345 W. 1ST STREET LA CA 90026

    SPEAK TO DANIEL:
    after 9:30pm

    MAKE SURE TO TELL HIM WE’RE SHOWING UP AT 1PM

    I CAN PUSH PEOPLE OUT THE WAY, BUT IN A NICE WAY

    SETP UP SHOTS –

    IN BACK OF THE STAGE WITH ALL THE PUPPETS – MAKE SURE TO TELL THEM IT’S A CELEB BABY – PRIVATE USE IMAGES – ONE SHOT IN THE BACK OF ALL THE OLD PUPPETS – PUPS ARE HANGING, FAMILY SHOT WITH THE PUPPETS – FIVE SHOWS THIS SEASON – OK TO SELL PICS FOR MY OWN USE – PRESS RELEASE INVOLVED – ON THE 6TH ON HER BIRTHDAY – PARTY ON THE 11TH – E SHOWED UP, PAPS SHOWED UP – WANTS THIS TO BE THE COOLEST THING EVER, COLUMBO MURDER –

    TALK TO DANIEL – ASK FOR FAMILY SHOT – ASK ABOUT REARRANGING THE FURNITURE – SELLING STUFF – FIND MY ESTABLISHING – TELL THEM WHAT I WANT – GET RID OF CLUTTER – BENCH FOR PUPPETS – I NEED TO TAKE CONTROL AND HANDLE THIS – CALL DANIEL WHEN I VISIT – 12:30PM –

    WANTS ME TO RENT A HASSLEBLAD IF I GET ACCESS TO THE BACK – FUCK.

    PLAY UP THE FACT THAT A CELEB BABY – LOTS OF EXPOSURE – STORY BOARD – FUNKY FURNITURE – REALLY WANTS A STORY BOARD – AN IDEA OF WHAT IM DOING – STORYLINE, SHOOT HIGH OK, STEP LADDER TO SHOOT DOWN, DURING BIRTHDAY SONG – TILT INWARD TOWARD HER FACE – WHERE THEY PUT HER AND WHEN –

    TOO POWERFUL OF A PLACE – ONCE IN A LIFETIME LOCATION –

    stage lighting – blue light yellow light, Wednesday – watch the show – see how it’s handled –

    The aftermath was, I went, I shot the birthday party and got some really amazing shots. I sent them and he was PISSED!!! It wasn’t what he wanted and he’d somehow have to make it work. They were nice enough photos that the theater asked if they could use some for their publicity photos. So there. I don’t think they ever used them, but they asked, which is always nice.

    I did way more work than I got paid for. He even had me submit a story board. Now, I know what a story board is, even though I’d never made one, I figured it out and made a bunch of shit up. I thought it was pretty great despite it being my first one. I’ve also never heard of any photographer making a story board for a 2 year old’s birthday party.

    Anyway, it was probably one of the most aggravating jobs I’ve ever taken. The entire time, instead of enjoying his daughter’s birthday party, he walked around, directed me, told me where to go to “get the shot” and yelled at his wife when she didn’t pose correctly. He got frustrated when his daughter was tired of doing the same pose over and over and over and over. When she started crying, he made her do it again and told her to stop crying. Finally Mom intervened and got yelled at for intervening. If I haven’t properly conveyed it, this guy was a major jerk. When I took the gig, I was pretty sure I couldn’t make him happy no matter what I did and I learned a valuable lesson: Don’t work with jerks and if I do, remember that I can only do my best work. If they’re still not happy, fuck ‘em.

    The old saying is so very true: You can please some of the people some of the time, but you can’t please all of the people all of the time. Dude, I know.

    Weekly Photo Round Up – Feb 13, 2010

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    Ok, is it just me or as these weeks going by faster and faster?

    Had a pretty great week, regardless of how fast it went. While AJB was out of town, JCS and I got off our asses and visited the Audubon Center at Debs Park – a place I never knew existed until now. It’s great! It’s a natural park with hiking trails and learning centers, they also provide all sorts of free classes like Tai Chi on Sundays. Needless to say, like most natural parks, it’s just gorgeous and what’s better, it’s about 10 minutes from Pasadena, just outside of Downtown. You can discover all sorts of cool things just by driving around and following signs.

    The image of our television set is one of the Winter Olympics athletes being interviewed. Me and the kids were making fun of her, so I took a picture and it was all I had for that day. The final picture is our bathroom being fixed after extensive rain damage.

    Weekly Photo Round Up – Jan. 30

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    To update quickly, I DID NOT get that writing job. I received a “do not reply” boiler plate response that didn’t even give me a reason why.

    Thank you for your interest in {REDACTED}. At this time, we are unable to bring you aboard. Thank you for taking the time to share your knowledge and passion with us.

    So there you go. I admit was a little disappointed, but I think I’ll reapply in a week or so, maybe for a different category. I also didn’t do any research to determine what kind of writing style they like. That might have helped.

    Let’s talk about something awesome: This week’s photo round up. I managed to get 5 out of 7 for the week and noticed that I actually looked forward to looking for something to shoot.

    If you’re interested enough, you can find the daily images as they’re posted to http://ping.fm/user/photokristen/media/ – the most recent will be on the first page at the top. You can also RSS the page using this link. I give the images funny titles.

    I met this kid at a party…

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    Last week, I met this kid at my cousin’s birthday party. I say “kid” because he was 24 years old. That’s 10 years younger than me, turns out. That’s scary. When did 24 years old become younger than me? We chatted for a while about cameras and photography in general. Come to find out, I really like talking about that stuff which concludes that I actually like being a photographer. Go figure.

    I told him about Chase Jarvis’ new book “The Best Camera“, a book I haven’t read (actually, I think it’s just a photo book) in which the author uses his iPhone camera to capture some amazing photos. The title of the book is an old photography teacher mantra stating that the best camera is the one you have with you. Further meaning: You don’t need a fancy camera to be a good photographer.

    Whenever the youngin’s ask me what camera they should buy, I always tell them what Chase says about the best camera; although I should note, as it’s become a Chase Jarvis phrase, it’s not new. You can be an awesome photographer with your camera phone. I then have to justify why I have a fancy, expensive camera and explain that it’s basically about fronting, looking like a pro, and making myself feel better when I’m on a shoot. It’s about vanity. Oh well, and I couldn’t rightly shoot actor headshots on a camera phone and then charge what I charge. That said, I recommended the kid get one of the Canon Rebels. I love those little guys and they’re actually pretty amazing cameras; you know, if you want to step up from the camera phone.

    That said, this kid told me how he’s working on a project in which he takes one photo a day and then at the end of the week, uploads the lot to Flickr. I thought,by jove, what a novel idea. Alright, so all us photographers dabble with that idea from time to time. Some of us do it, some of us don’t. Some of us start and never get anywhere. I actually tried to do the picture a day thing and only made it through a few weeks.

    It’s an exercise in seeing more in your environment and dumbing down your gear, living with limits. It’s about stepping away from the main picture and using a camera without a lot of bells and whistles. I do indeed like this idea and realized that I had a lot of fun when I did it the last time. Problem was, I didn’t do anything with the photos and felt it was gratuitous to upload one photo a day of random crap. However, a weekly posting on the week’s shots might be a bit more palatable and easier for me to handle.

    I managed to get three this week. The last image is a random one I took while writing this post. It’s not bad for a start. Also note, the two photos of my yard cat, Pierre.

    I’m a photographer, dammit.

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    I like to pretend I’m brave and a go-getter, but when it comes to my art, I’ve always been a little chicken shit. During my formative years, I faced so much criticism from people that I learned to stop showing my work. I knew I was talented and part of me even knew it didn’t matter what people said, but I found that whenever I showed my work, people always told me what was wrong with it; as if they thought I could take it. You’d think someone like me would use that information to improve. I tried, but after a while, I felt like I was the only person who appreciated my work. I spent many years wondering what the point was. Should be an artist at all? Was I a sham? Did I want so badly to be an “artist” that I continued to make crap nobody liked despite my worst critics? No matter how much I told myself that their opinions didn’t matter, it wasn’t true. It did matter. It matters, but some people are simply assholes.

    Unlike a lot of artists, I never had a mentor and my internships have all turned out to be huge let downs. I’ve read books and articles hungrily searching for tricks, tips, and advice. I’ve taken classes and even walked up to photographers to ask them questions about their techniques and equipment. Nothing has been handed to me. So when I see other photographers, people who have done far better than me in less time, I can’t help but feel inferior. They’re out there making names for themselves and I’m sitting at home wondering how to make a name for myself.

    During my 1st year out as a freelancer, I worked hard and did a lot of “pay your dues” work. I learned a lot, but found that I still didn’t know how the system worked. How were my friends making money, getting printed, and showing up in galleries? How does that work?

    The hardest facet of being an artist is learning how to sell yourself. My friends have photo blogs, they talk constantly about their work, and they’re always working on something. Now, let’s not forget, they’re also in their 20′s and can live on Top Ramen and Red Bulls. Had I been more focused, a bit smarter, I could have done what they have done. So now I’m married with step-kids and while that’s not a valid excuse, it does add a certain level of complication to the matter. The other issue is that I carefully release my work, only showing the work I’m totally positive will get a good response. I don’t ever show my mediocre work, or at least, I’m afraid to. I seem to have a heightened sense of good or bad in own my work. My friends, they show everything…even the bad stuff. Are they better photographers than me? In some cases, yes. In others, no. They’re putting themselves out there and perhaps it doesn’t occur to them that someone might say they hate it. Frankly, I haven’t seen that yet. They seem to get a good deal of affirmation in their work, even the work that I wouldn’t consider good; if it were mine.

    It took me a year to start telling people, with confidence, that I was a photographer. When I started doing that, my life started making sense. I’ve always been a photographer, but felt that since I wasn’t making money and didn’t have the portfolio to back it up, I shouldn’t rightfully call myself one. It sounded pretentious and I was worried that I would appear to be egotistical. That was then. I now have a pretty decent portfolio and I’m more determined than ever to make a go of it. This is what I want, this is who I am. I am a photographer, dammit. This is the year that I will hype my shit and show my work. I’ll find a way to stay respectable and not come off as an egomaniac.

    With that said, I took a leap and submitted 7 of my recent Polaroids to a one night gallery showing in Santa Monica. As many of you know, Polaroid is one of my favorite film types. I just love it. I put off submitting my work to this show because…you guessed it, I was afraid. When the deadline drew near, I fought my inner critic and eventually won. I sent them out and felt as though I was throwing caution to the wind. Let the chips fall where they may. Turns out, they’re using my work. In what capacity, I’m still not sure. My name is on the list of contributors and I’m attending the show tonight.

    Let the chips fall where they may. I figure, some things work and you can’t please everyone.

    Organizing a Digital World

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    It’s 2010 and hundreds of nano-robots have entered my brain and are accessing my organizational programs. We also have that *big thing coming up, so it’s time to get busy. Trepidation? You bet.

    Since around 2004 when I got my very first digital camera, I’ve simply loaded images onto my computer willy nilly. With hardly any regard to structure, it’s one of those things I told myself I’d do later. 40,000 images later, I’m at an important juncture in my career. I have too many images, don’t need access to them all, and need to find them faster. Furthermore, iPhoto isn’t meant to handle 40,000+ images. It’s meant for Mom and Dad’s photos of birthday parties, Christmases, and the Grand Canyon. Now, don’t get me wrong. This is not a slight on Mac or anything. Mac and I are good friends, but iPhoto really isn’t the high-octane photo organizer a photographer like me needs. It bogs down, chokes up, and fades out.

    The problem now is that I do indeed have 40,000 photos (maybe more, not counting everything on my laptop). I’ve done some research and have come across a lovely $300 application called “Lightroom”; it’s made by our friends over at Adobe, the people who brought you Photoshop. Lightroom is like iPhoto on crack. It’s got quite a few more advanced features and really seems to take organization seriously. In addition, it makes me feel more grown-up.

    Problem is, how do I integrate 40,000 photos into a new application using new organizational methods? I have no idea. I thought I’d import everything and then organize, but I couldn’t figure it out. I thought the best way to do this was to import everything at once. Once I got everything in, I couldn’t figure out a good method. I thought about starting over and importing folder by folder. That was until I realized iPhoto isn’t necessarily organized that way. Besides, I don’t think I can import image by image one by one. That would take forever. I deleted everything I’d just imported. Not the original files, by the way. The added bonus came when I cleared the trash bin. I then realized I could indeed organize the way I wanted to within Lightroom, except, now I have to start over.

    Yesterday, the import took around 4 hours. At present, Lightroom is acknowledging that the images were there but cannot find them. Yeah, that’s because I deleted them. I’m not sure how to get the ghost images out of there and a second “delete” is taking forever. Good thing I’ve allocated the entire day for this project. And I have to do it. It’s integral that I stay organized, can find images, and can get my workflow working. Up until now, I haven’t had an efficient workflow and I’m pretty sure it’s hindering my work. I’ve come to hate downloading images and I have hardly any desire to work on them, work through them, or put them to any good use. That’s because the current method doesn’t work. I need things that work.

    We’ll see how it goes. I’ve got 4 hours to kill. I guess I’ll do laundry or something.

    UPDATE: When tried to re-import the images from the iPhoto Library, the entire library was gone. Yes, this means what you think it means. Everything. Gone. We still have no idea what happened, but are hoping that by using Time Machine to restore the internal drive to an earlier date before the Lightroom debacle, this will fix things. I hope. Of course, this means I must also face the fact that all my images might be gone. Forever.

    *Note to self: Five years from now, you won’t remember what you’re talking about. Hint: 320