I’ve been complaining (to myself) about the general disconnect with Facebook and other social media sites for years. I rode the social media train because it’s fun. Simple. It’s a good time-waster and while its not the best form of communication, it’s better than nothing. Like most people I’ve spent more time than I should on Facebook and would check it dozens of times per day. I also started noticing that despite the initial intentions of connecting with friends and family, most people just weren’t doing that. I maintained a neat and tidy friends list with people I’d met in real life, genuine friends, but not everyone was as methodical. Like MySpace before it, people are collecting friends like there’s no tomorrow. Sure, at least one or two of them really do know 600 people in real life, but the rest were far less discriminate. I can’t wrap my head around this. If social networking is about being social, how on earth are you social with 600 people? How do the really important people show through the collective crap? You can’t and they don’t. The more friends people collect the harder it is to keep tabs on your best friend from 8th grade. Somewhere in there someone mentioned they were having a baby, but I can’t remember who. I guess I’ll find out when the kid pops out and they post a picture. True, without Facebook, you might not know that your 11th grade lab partner was getting married in the first place and it’s been great for finding lost friends – except, they’re still not really found. They live in this realm of a finite amount of text at a safe distance where you don’t actually have to call them or write them an email to congratulate them on good news. Instead, we’ve simplified our lives into a sentence or two: HAPPY BIRTHDAY BO BO! HOPE IT’S A GOOD ONE! LOL! Used to be if we really cared about someone we’d call or send a real letter, although I hardly did either.
My mom sent a holiday update letter along with her Christmas card this year. Her’s is the generation that truly lost touch with one another. There was that period after high school when they all got married, started having kids, buying houses, raising rug rats, and getting old that they just didn’t speak. Perhaps they talked once in a blue moon and maybe had lunch, that is, if you could track them down. It meant calling siblings, other friends, cousins, parents – and then you had to talk to that person for an hour. It was a pain. Facebook simplified the process. In my Mom’s eloquent letter, she explained that she wanted to do what she’s been promising for years – keep in real touch. Not just say it, not just update it on Facebook, but really honestly keep in touch. She said she would and asked that the recipients of her letter reciprocate. I think it’s a nice sentiment and I loved the letter – it’s a testament to my Mom’s generation where they really have lost touch with a lot of people. Problem is, I think people have good intentions, they just can’t follow through. It’s not for lack of desire, but rather, you get swept up in your life, time goes on, and all of a sudden it’s been 2 years since you’ve talked with someone. It just happens.
Are byte sized chunks of someone’s life better than nothing? Every once and a while a rebel appears and demands we all keep in real touch, but they end up alone in their quest. Keeping friends is hard work. Making them is harder. The older you get, the less contact you have with other people besides your mate and kids. Suddenly you become incapable of making new friends and you wonder why no one calls you.
As for Facebook, it’s simply a means to an end and it does serve a purpose. However, it’s too much babbling and not enough real connection. It’s too much Farmville and not enough lunch dates. The other minor infraction users commit is making Facebook their personal intelligence scale. The quality of the person is directly related to the level of obscurity of a post. If someone posts about the Ukrainian Poet’s Society founder who died, it means they’re pretty smart because who the fuck is the founder of the Ukrainian Poet’s Society? People aggregate obscure news items, perch them on their wall, and await the accolades.
The other thing that drives me crazy is overly vague posts. Nothing more than a sad face emoticon and you’re bound to garner at least a dozen what’s wrongs, feel betters, and virtual hugs. How about some clue as to what’s wrong with you? Or the posts that simply say “Something bad happened today“. Care to elaborate? No. No they don’t. They’re just looking for feedback on nothing. When pressed for an answer, the response is usually just as vague “Oh, something went down at work today. I don’t feel like talking about it” – So why did you bring it up? If this happened in real life as much as it happens on Facebook, we’d all punch our friends in the face on a regular basis. *Virtual punch in the face!* **HUGS**
As much as I like real connection, I’m just as guilty of not being “BFF of the Year” as everyone else. I’m just as bad a friend as anyone. Truth is, I’m a terrible friend. I’m not good at making them and equally bad at keeping them. Always have been. I spent a lot of time wishing my friends were better friends when I should have just jumped into the driver’s seat and set the lunch date myself. Perhaps it’s not too late.
The main issue is that Facebook has taken away one very important aspect of my life: My blog. This blog. Used to be I’d write about what was going on in my life. Not for the world really, but for myself. I wanted a place I could go back to once in a while and reflect on the days gone by. Ever since Facebook took over the world, I’ve neglected this blog so much that I didn’t even write about my wedding or honeymoon. I’ve hardly written about 2010 being the year from hell and I have to trust I’ll remember it all for the year end sum up. Sure, in the grand scheme of things, missing out on minor details is just what happens. Our brains are wired to store information, but accessing it when you need it is another thing. Over the years this blog has helped me remember where I was and how far I’ve come. Without it I’m sure I’d think everything sucks. It serves as a reminder of my life and the fine details interwoven between big events.
I’m taking a break from Facebook for a while. Maybe until the end of year. I just can’t take the posturing, the disconnect, and yes, the spelling and grammar police. You know who you are. I don’t care if you spell better than me. What is this? The 3rd grade spelling bee? While you’re at, why don’t you stay late and help the teacher bang erasers? I get it, you’re smarter than me. I figure, for someone who grew up in the ghetto, was taught in a barbed-wire public school, and doesn’t have a formal higher education, I do alright. Besides, who died and made you Lord King Spelling Cop? No one, I tell you. No one! It’s a stupid job and you’re the equivalent of a hall monitor. Hall monitors suck. Douche bag narcs. I can’t stand that Facebook has become a platform for overcompensating. And it while it’s been building for a while, I just hit the breaking point. This year has been a maelstrom of nuttiness and I realized I didn’t need to fill my life with any more than I already have.
What’s sad is that leaving Facebook is about as effective as a tree falling in the forest with no one around to hear it. I’m not doing it to prove any point. I just need a break from the bullshit. /end_rant
Just about every morning I wake up with a song in my head. It sets the tone for my day and I’ve been trying to figure out a way I can post them somewhere. If only I had a place to post the songs.
This is the song I woke up with in my head this morning:
DOWNLOAD MP3: The Dandy Warhols – You Were The Last High
In other news, demolition on the new house begins today. Workers are taking down closets, the murder shed, and various others things that need to go. I’m going over there today. Who knows, maybe I’ll post pictures like a good little blogger.
