I keep getting these little notices from my web host telling me that my domain is about to expire. This one, the one for Dark Culture. The last few years, whenever the renew notice comes, I’ve sat around thinking about what I should do and thinking how I really let Dark Culture fall by the wayside. It’s quite clear that Dark Culture, as a magazine, is dead. As any kind of working website, it’s dead. For a while, I was getting down to business with the podcasts; getting them organized and I’d even put a new one online. And it’s not that I don’t want to do the podcasts, it’s just that I haven’t had the time. You see, it’s not just about picking tracks from my collection (which is massive); it requires time to research new bands, download songs I want, etc. And then there’s the post work which involves putting it online, updating the xml file, and posting notices all over Heck.

Unhappily, Dark Culture hasn’t been anything recognizable in years. When I converted it from a PostNuke site to a WordPress blog, I really thought that I would update it more. I haven’t. A good deal of this lethargy can be blamed on the fact that I’ve been concentrating on my career. We moved, my Dad died, and my life has taken on a whole new appearance. I don’t club as much as I used to. About that: it’s not that I don’t love the clubs. I always have. What I never loved was the drama, the idiots, the people I just can’t bear to see. Now, as a 30-something, it’s hard for me to see the same people I saw 15 years ago, doing the same things, being lame, annoying, doing drugs, or drinking too much. For the most part, I stayed away from all that. I did the best I could even when my own circle of friends partook in drama, drugs, and drink. Oh sure, I drank, but I never got into drugs and I tried to stay from as much drama as I could. Easier said that done. And there are good people that still club – they club because like me, it’s about the music and dancing. It’s not about the drama. Sadly, it’s often hard to avoid…even at 34 years old.

OK, so I always come back around to this. Almost every year when the renewal comes up, I labor over a decision. It’s only $9.95 to renew the site for another year. I suppose I labor because Dark Culture symbolizes something I loved, something I spent hundreds of hours working on, a dream, a beloved hobby. It was even something one or two people enjoyed reading. And now, a shadow of it’s former self…just sitting there like Miss Havisham, left at the alter, gathering dust.

Did I really want Dark Culture to be the greatest web magazine in the world? No, not really. I only ever wanted it to be a source of entertainment for the Gothic community online. It was, for a time. For a time, it was pretty great. I know one thing, it never will be great again. I just don’t have the time. I don’t want to spend countless hours laboring over code, chasing writers, writing about lame bands I hate, or making weekly trips to the post office. About the post office: I haven’t paid the bill in months. I haven’t wanted to go in and see if my account was still open. Part of me is embarrassed that I let it go so long. The other part is that…well, it means I’m going to just let those CD’s sit in my office for an undermined period of time. It’s not like I’m getting all that many anymore anyway.

*sigh*

Sadly, the last few times I’ve renewed the domain, it was because I couldn’t make up my mind about it and just wanted to stall another year. I need to figure this out. Not that $9.95 is a whole lot. Actually, I don’t have to do anything. I could stall another year and see what happens. I suspect that next year things will let up a bit and I may actually have more time to do Dark Culture podcasts. Because that’s what it’s all about: Music. Now that we’re knee deep in wedding preparations, I must take a Scarlet O’Hara approach and think about it tomorrow – or next year.

Not renewing means several things: Moving this blog to kristensimental.com, moving all the files, updating the mailing list about the site’s final demise, and saying my ultimate good-bye. That’s harder than you think. Saying good-bye to Dark Culture means a whole lot. It’s like this old friend I knew once upon a time. A good friend that helped keep me sane, showed me that I’m smarter than I think, helped me realize my commitment to music, and gave me something to do when my life wasn’t going anywhere. That’s a big deal, isn’t it? And part of it really is the staggering amount of time I put into it. To say “goodbye”, just like that? Perhaps I’m just not ready to.

I guess I’ve made my decision.

Because I’d done a hard install the first time around, this meant I couldn’t use the one click install application. Thus, in order to use it and make my life easier in the long term, I had to start fresh. Naturally, it had been a while since I’d done any backend work on Dark Culture, so I forgot the cardinal rule of updates. BACK UP, BACK UP, AND BACK UP! ALWAYS! I did not. Thus, I lost anything that had been posted to the new version of Dark Culture. Let’s forget about the last 10 years of content that is sitting somewhere gathering dust waiting to be restored and probably never will.

So what does this all mean for Dark Culture? Not a whole lot, really. Frankly, my heart hasn’t been in Dark Culture for a while now. I enjoy doing the podcasts and occasionally posting news, but that’s about it. I can’t remember the last time I wrote a review and truth be told, Dark Culture has been half ass for a few years now. And that right there makes me sad. Dark Culture was always a labor of love. I tried making money at it, but it just never happened. I could never get enough advertising to simply pay for the hosting. Readership suffers when you make major changes or are down for long periods of time, so I can’t imagine all that many people read it on a regular basis. Statistics tell me that when I upload a new podcast, I get some good traffic – even if no one comments or gives me feedback. However, the way search engines a’plenty spider my site, it could just be fluff traffic and not anyone legitimate.

*sigh* So what will become of Dark Culture? I recall spending countless hours working on the site, updating, chasing after writers, laboring over content…I remember staying up until the sun rose on some nights. I can’t put that kind of effort into it anymore and frankly, I don’t want to.

Because Dark Culture was one of the first websites of it’s kind, I inspired numerous people to start their own webzines. That’s nice, but they’re a whole lot more excited about it than I am and they put in the effort. The writers I once had have all gone separate ways and wouldn’t come back if I asked them. I suppose I could find new writers, but just as it was then, it’s hard to find people who’ll work for nothing. Writing credit on a half ass webzine? I wouldn’t do it either. So here I am, at yet another cross-roads with Dark Culture. Part of me doesn’t want to let it go because I still hold some ideals for it. I’ve always dreamt of what it could have been, but never will. Besides, I’m not all that active in the Goth scene anymore – at least, not as much as I used to be. I still enjoy the music and hearing new bands, but I’m less inclined to write about them.

Oh, this all makes me so sad. There was a point where Dark Culture was an amazing website, but it’s a shadow of it’s former self now. It’s been broken so many times, I don’t know if it can recover. I guess I’ll continue to make podcasts. Those make me happy and I love doing them. Now, to find the time.

Over the years I’ve had numerous close calls with almost losing everything. Today I lost the latest incarnation of Dark Culture, but luckily this blog is in tact. It’s funny how our priorities shift over time. It also reminds me to back things up more. I mean, I was actually sweating while waiting for the site to re-upload. I thought, what am I going to do if I lose it all? I almost cried thinking about it. This blog is so much a part of me that I can’t envision living without it. I mean, if I had lost it, I would have lived, but I would have been really fucking depressed about it.

A sigh of relief. I’m going to back up this blog once a month and never scare the shit out of myself again.

So there’s this really adorable girl on YouTube that, because she’s adorable and has created amusing videos, has a pretty large following. She goes by the name Paperlillies and has tons of fan-boys e-stalking her. Turns out, she’s come up with a really great idea for an internet film aptly titled “Internet Zombie Movie” and it’s been picked up by the BBC’s radar. The BBC won’t have anything to do with the film, but will showcase several websisodes of “the making of” and behind the scenes. The idea is that Paperlillies will create the film based on contributions from YouTubers and friends with completion by Halloween 2008. I expect it’s going to be a mish-mash of footage, hilarity, and entertainment. And it’s a totally new idea. Go figure. Who knew those existed anymore?

The BBC has set up an mini-site for the project, however, if you live outside the UK, apparently you can’t see it. What the? What’s up with that? The good news is, Paperlillies has set up her own YouTube page and you can catch BBC’s webisodes on their YouTube page. I’ll also post updates as they arise…from the grave. *ahem*

Links

Paperlilles @ YouTube
BBC Mini Site for Internet Zombie Movie
BBC @ YouTube
Internet Zombie Movie @ YouTube
Official Internet Zombie Movie Site

Still getting over a wicked flu, I couldn’t miss Peter and bought a ticket. I’m trying to think of when I first discovered Peter Murphy. I discovered Bauhaus in 1987 – that would be 7th grade. I know this because when I was cleaning out my garage, I found my Junior High school folder and it had the word “Bowhouse” written on it. LOL. How embarrassing. I guess I didn’t really get into Peter’s solo stuff until Love Hysteria, which I recall knowing about, but not owning. I was poor, you see. I think a friend had it. The deal, however, wasn’t sealed until the single “Strange Kind of Love” came out in 1990. This song is one of two songs I recall hearing for the first time in my Dad’s van. Dad’s van, you see, had the only radio that picked up KROQ all the way from far off Los Angeles. I’d sit in the driver’s seat and listen to radio that barely came in. And through the fuzz and noise, I heard it. Oh, how I loved it. Shortly thereafter, I saw the video on MTV’s 120 Minutes (RIP) and that was it. I would love Peter Murphy for the rest of my life.

And I have. Every time I see him, I feel like a teenager. Last night at the show, I was dancing in the crowd, screaming my head off, waving my hands, and acting like a fanatic. Unfortunately, the crowd on the whole was pretty lame. I got there early and for a second I thought I’d shown up the wrong night. I sort of expected to see people I hadn’t seen in years, the old crowd, the old schoolers. Hardly. A mixed bag of old people and industry people. Slowly, but surely, the cool people flowed in and I felt a little safer. Still, it wasn’t half of what I expected. I couldn’t help but wonder why. I mean, back in the day, Peter Murphy was the end all be all. To Goths, he was our patron saint. So what happened and where was everyone? Or was that everyone, just older and fatter? It made me really sad. To think, here were all these older Goths, not Goth anymore, aging. So it made me feel old.

I’ve managed to maintain some semblance of Goth into my 30′s – which means I’ve already beat the system. I never looked at Goth as a “phase”. It was always something I belonged to and made part of who I am. Sure I hardly club anymore and I certainly don’t wear black lipstick anymore, but the fundamental elements of Goth are still very much a part of my life. I guess it’s not that way for a lot of people. Seems a lot of people use it as a temporary rebellion and then fade back into the crowd when they “get too old” for it. Oh well. Their loss. Losers.

As I momentarily step off my soap-box…Peter Murphy never-ever-in-a-million-years disappoints. He’s always good, he’s always sexy, and he always sings his heart out. There were a handful of people in the crowd that knew all the words to the songs and danced the way I danced. A couple next to me were zealous and joyful. We’d exchange glances and smiles knowing that no matter what, Peter was still our patron saint and always would be.

Look what my iPhone can do!

I got a nice letter today:

Hi I’m Blizzard. My friend Xtoph and I love your show. Please keep doing them. We play your podcast as much as we play individual CD’s and Records. I’d love it if you played some UK Decay, (Old) Killing Joke, Southern Death Cult, Novocaine Mausoleum. Thanks. And please don’t stop the podcast. Your all that and a bag of chips.

Makes me smile.

Used Shipping Envelopes
Reply to: sale-373543908@craigslist.org
Date: 2007-07-14, 12:20AM PDT

Ok, this is gonna sound weird, but bear with me. I have a large stack of used shipping envelopes – the yellow kind. Some have bubble wrap, some don’t. I have all shapes and sizes. I run an online music magazine and these are the envelopes the CD’s for review came in. I’m cleaning house and finally got around to taking the CD’s and press kits out of the envelopes.

Yes, they’re used. I don’t know what to do with them and I hate to just throw them away filling up even more landfills. Can you use them for something? I don’t know, you could always re-use them – cover up the labels and tape the sides? I figure this is a long shot, but as they say: One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. It’s worth a shot anyway.

If you want them, they’re yours. Email to pick up.

When I told my boyfriend, he laughed and asked if I really thought people would want used envelopes with writing and stamps on them. I didn’t know, but it didn’t seem to be a bad idea. People are increasingly becoming aware of the needs of the planet and that just about everything can be recycled. Why buy new when you can buy used?

Within the hour, I had two responses. Two. By today, I had 6 responses and two people telling me I was doing a good thing. I left them out on the porch for the first person and he picked them up. I feel pretty proud of myself. I’ll give myself a little pat on the back for this one. I could have just thrown them in the dumpster, but they are now on their way to secondary use. A minor triumph in the goal for a cleaner, happier Earth. Score one for me. I just goes to show that one man’s trash is indeed another man’s treasure. Or in this case, one woman’s trash.

I’m also amused by the fact that I’ve placed an old microwave and used Cosmetology books on Craigslist and haven’t had any bites. Free, used envelopes are this week’s hotness.

By the way, I’m left with dozens of old CD’s that have either been reviewed, are too old, or I just don’t want to bother with. I’ll be holding the third official Dark Culture Mystery Box Auction on eBay fairly soon. If you’re a fan of metal, industrial, and medieval music, this is the auction for you! Proceeds will be siphoned back into the site.

I think about shutting down the site for other reasons too. For some reason, I’ve been hard pressed to find writers that do what they say they will. I understand the whole not getting paid thing. It’s hard to juggle personal lives and then on top of that, write for a magazine that doesn’t pay. I always figured, I’d find people who cared about my angle on the scene enough to want to be a part of it. Like a little family working towards the same goals. Maybe it’s more like a family than I realize. Hardly enough time for one another, moving on, doing other things. As it stands, I have three writers who have promised to submit material and haven’t. Good writers all, all missing in action.

Maybe it’s the holidays. I don’t know. I’ve been in a funk with the site for a long time. There was a period where I was the ultimate flake. People would send stuff in and I’d take months to get it online. Maybe I’ve garnered a reputation for being a loaf.

Some days I think, “I’m gonna get this site going and make all kinds of updates and write like a fiend”. I hardly ever do. I look at magazines like the amazing Morbid Outlook and have no idea how Mistress McCutchan finds the time. I also realize that I have the time, but I squander it. Tired from the day’s work, wanting only to relax in front of the NBC Thursday night line-up. There is a lethargy that’s taken over and despite recent stressful events in my life, I still feel compelled to keep the site open.

Lethargic and I’ve hardly written any reviews in the last few months. There’s a lot going on in my life and I’m stressed out. My boyfriend recently suggested that I put up an “on hiatus” notice and just take a real break from the site. I’m afraid if I do that, I won’t ever come back. I’ve been racking my brain trying to come up with a solution to lessen the load and keep the site going. Aside from stripping down the site to podcasts, reviews, forums, and the occasional interview. Would it be the same? Would it matter? There hasn’t been an honest to goodness article in years. I’m not sure why I continue to hold on to that.

I can’t do the site all by myself. It’s been clear for years. I need help, but I can’t find people who willingly want to be a part of the site…not the way I do. I need to be more involved and lead by example. Time again. How much time can I afford to spend on the site, babysitting writers, and begging for submissions? I’m getting sick of it. I’m sad that I’m sick of it. Dark Culture has been a part of my life for a long time and the fact that I’m this fed up is disheartening. It’s also confusing because I don’t really want to shut down the site. I want it to be greater than it is.

If the site continues, it will be because I want it to. It will be that I’ve found a way to balance it all.

Part of my dismay stems from the comments and feedback thread I started last week at the forums. I asked readers to give me their thoughts on the site and let me know what should or should not change. Not one comment. No ones cares. Web readers want information served to them. They don’t want to lift a finger and it’s too much to ask for a little feedback. I’m frustrated and not sure which direction to take anymore. What’s it gonna take? How can I continue? Do I want to?

I find this letter particularly interesting because, despite whatever affiliation this person has with the band, they are most certainly coming from a defensive stance and are in fact, acting as representation. As for my feelings towards lead singer Patrick Mata himself. I don’t know him personally and probably never will, at this rate. My opinion of him is based on a purely superficial level. He’s the lead singer of a band that I enjoy and nothing more. While I do realize that this has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with Patrick Mata or the band itself, I can’t help but feel that any band should monitor their contact with the press. This would ensure letters such as these don’t reach reader’s eyes and potentially close off what could very well be a healthy relationship between press and artist. Letters as these leave a bad taste in my mouth.

I’ll continue to post news (if any) and play songs in the podcast…because that’s what I do. As for the person who wrote this letter…let’s just say that I am, at the very least, amused. Grateful for a good laugh and life goes on. Fodder for blog posts.

Cinka,

First off I am not upset.

Second of all I AM NOT THE BAND’S MANAGER/MANAGEMENT (I never said that I was Kommunity FK’s manager.)  It’s none of your business, but I am a highly paid Mistress. I make large amounts of money by beating subservient worms like you into a pulp.

As for you ‘merely pointing out it looked like Patrik was stoned’ is NOT how you had it come across in your slanderous writing. Are you so small minded that you ‘judge’ people of all genres off of a ‘sticker?’ Patrik placed that sticker on his vintage teardrop Vox guitar when his band ‘Sativa LuvBox’ was signed to their major label. That particular band is still HUGE internationally and for that reason he keeps that sticker on his vintage guitar.  Are you some kind of ill-mannered ‘Reaganite’ with your own personal ‘war on drugs’ agenda? So, again, your writing that Patrik was stoned and has been stoned for years is SLANDEROUS. The ELDERS in the ‘Deathrock’ scene know of the fact that Patrik has been clean and sober for years. You and your opinion just prove you know nothing about the music or Patrik, for that matter, of whom you write
articles/reviews about.

Again, I don’t give a shite what your opinion is.

Kommunity FK and Patrik have never paid attention to any thoughts/reviews that have ever been written about the band. A true artist doesn’t listen to any propaganda. True art is Art. Art survives only when it stays on it’s own thought. As far as I know Patrik and Kommunity FK haven’t even seen your tiny opinion. If Patrik did ever see it I’m sure he would get a good laugh at the poorly written piece.

Kommunity FK has been in the music business since 1978. So again, your other poorly ill-conceived opinion of Kommunity FK is “in the wrong business” is so off. If you cannot handle the fact someone is going to tell you that your writing is wrong/slanderous/ and/or poorly researched then you, my dear, are the one who is in the wrong business. If someone writes to you that actually stands up for the truth and it bothers you-you are not a true writer.

Slander is slander.  You and your opinions need to be stated as an opinion. If you plan to stay a writer-LEARN YOUR FACTS.

Patrik loves his fans. He has made that very clear time and time again in books, articles, and at live shows worldwide.  Patrik’s fans love him as well….

Goodbye worm. My time is too precious to continue this futile agenda. Take it from an Elder and a Mistress…You have a lot to learn. Perhaps you should change your name to “Rethinka”?

Rethinka. Touche.

This letter is what we in the writing profession call “talking out of your ass”. It’s a heavy attempt at being clever with a deep desire to come off as intelligent. Read the last letter and ponder the word “unstudious” a minute. Yes dear, you probably could beat me to a pulp, but I’m not sure I could afford you. I honestly have nothing against Patrick. If he does or doesn’t smoke pot…who fucking cares? Actually, these letters (albeit amusing) tend to bother me because they’re ridiculous on every level. I don’t try to make enemies or piss people off, but it comes with the territory. All in a days work. At my core, I am truly someone who cares about the scene and the music spawned from it. It should be assumed that everything I write is merely opinion. What else would it be? I’m not writing freaking book reports here.

I got things to do. What a total waste of time.

Today, I received the following letter regarding my “review” of Kommunity FK’s performance at the Knitting Factory this year.  

Hello,

My name is [name omitted]. I run the Kommunity Fk Kontingent. I am writing to you regarding your review of Kommunity FK’s live show at the Knitting Factory.

Kommunity Fk does not give a shite if you like the band or not, but what is a problem is parts of your article are ill-informed and slanderous.

Patrik Mata has been clean and sober for 9.5 years. No alcohol, no drugs, INCLUDING POT. The fact you are telling your readers that Patrik Mata was stoned and has been stoned for years in your opinion is lude and slanderous.

You obviously are not a journalist for the fact you do not even research the projects you write about. Sherry Rubber has been the lead guitarist for Kommunity FK for over a decade now.

It is clear to me by your unstudious review that you have obiously been blowing the Last Dance (who in my opinion suck and wouldn’t even beable to be the genre of music they are if it wasn’t for bands like Kommunity FK breaking the Gothic/Alternative grounds all those years ago). We know who ‘SABOTAGED’ the sound that night at the Knitting Factory. If you were a real journalist you would have researched that particular dilemma of the show you reviewed and would have discovered there are many wittnesses of who was ‘lurking’ around the sound boards when Kommunity FK perfomed – as well as – the fact the sound man of 3 years of the Knitting Facotry was fired that night because of the saboteurs.

Like I wrote previously nobody from this camp gives a shite what you think of Kommunity FK. And just to let you know it was Patrik Mata who contacted Release The Bats (who are very close to Kommunity FK) and had them be part of that historic night….but again-if you were a real journalist you would have known that as well.

Please correct your slanderous lines and wrong names in your poorly conceived article.

 …and this was my repsonse:

I’m sorry you’re upset. Kommunity FK are a great band and Jenn and Dave are a dedicated and integral part of the deathrock community.

After this review went online, I received several email telling me I was dead on. I’d never seen KFK before, so I had nothing to compare it to. I write my reviews as a fan, not a journalist. It’s not my job to investigate who sabotaged the sound or find out why the sound was bad. All I know is, it was, and that’s that. As for Patrick being “stoned”, I merely pointed out what it looked like. I’m sorry, but people who don’t smoke pot, don’t brandish pot leaves on their equipment. Not that I have an opinion on pot, one way or the other. I could care less. I’m just saying. Myself and anyone else there, would naturally draw their own conclusions.

In my article, I gave props to Patrick for forging new ground and being a leader in the deathrock genre. I’m not sure why you pointed out that Patrick was the one who contacted Release the Bats. I can’t see that I mentioned that nor what the importance is. Either way, I respect Release the Bats and acknowledged the work they put into the event. I even stated that I look forward to the next.

As a writer (not a journalist) I write what I see and feel. As a photographer, I enjoy photographing bands that give me something exciting to photograph. Opinions are like assholes, everybody has one. This is my opinion. I don’t write reviews to “please” bands and labels. That would be unfair to the people who actually buy music.

You can’t please all of the people all of the time. If members of the Kommunity Kamp are scorned at every bad review, perhaps you’re in the wrong business. Bad reviews come with the good. For being in the business as long as Patrick has, I’m sure he’s quite aware of how things work. As a band manager, you must also. I don’t feel this was a “slanderous” review. I made every attempt to excuse the mishaps of the evening and gave credit where credit is due.

It’s in poor taste, as a representative of any band, to bad mouth writers who don’t write glowing reviews. It is also remarkably unprofessional. I don’t blame the band for the sound, but someone in the Kommunity Kamp should have noticed the problem and fixed it; rather than letting it continue throughout the entire show. That’s just bad management. I’ve never seen anything like it. No reviewer anywhere would stick around and “interview” witnesses to the lurkers at the sound table. No one cares who sabotaged the sound…all people care about is that it wasn’t good and no one fixed it. If you’re asking me to exaggerate the truth, I’m afraid I must refuse wholeheartedly.

About the name change, the error was my fault. At the time I wrote the review, the website hadn’t been updated and Tracy’s was the only name I found. I do apologize for the mistake and will correct it immediately.

I stand by my article. Please understand that I cannot re-write my reviews on the basis that I might bruise someone’s ego. It was not my intention to piss anyone off, but as I said earlier, you take the good with the bad and you can’t please everyone. For every review I write, there is the chance someone won’t agree with me. I will not sacrifice my integrity and change my opinions based on one nasty letter. I wouldn’t do it for a thousand. As someone with a strong opinion such as yourself, I know you understand.

If this is how Kommunity FK deals with the press, perhaps it’s time to find new representation. I know, I know, you don’t give a shite about what I think. You should, however, care what your fans think. I’m a fan.

Yours sincerely, Cinka
Editor, Dark Culture Magazine
www.darkculture.net
 

My boyfriend so cleverly pointed out that people love you when you write good reviews and despise you when you don’t. I must take these things with a grain of salt. I do, however, love writing long letters of retort.

One in particular, was a site called The Sync. They offered short, independently made, videos; some in the style of what we now call Video Blogging, others were theatrical in nature.  They weren’t high quality, by any means, but they were entertaining. I went there for SnackBoy.

SnackBoy was a daily feed hosted by Terry Crummit. Terry lay on a bed, his face in full frame, talking about his adventures in acting, things he’d seen, stories from his childhood. All were accompanied by goofy crayon drawings and his vivacious personality. Apparently, we wasn’t gay, but he could have fooled me. He had a wonderful sense of humor and his stories were (9 times out of 10) amusing. I watched almost everyday for a year. At one point, he went on a road trip and landed in Pasadena by way of Maryland. More specifically, he stayed at the Astro Motel, one of the crack-whore motels on East Colorado Blvd. He and I exchanged emails for a short time. He was adorable and sweet. I chickened out on meeting up with him. Shortly after, my interest in his show waned for one reason or another.

Last night, I was up a little late (but not as late as I used to). I wondered if Terry’s show was still on. I did a search because I couldn’t remember the name of the site. I found the site, but it wasn’t there anymore. What lay instead, was a memorial site for Terry who had died in a tragic automobile accident in 2004. I was unable to formulate how I should feel. I didn’t know him, but we’d exchanged emails. I’d never met him, but he consumed five minutes of my day for nearly a year. I read the long list of Terry memories and realized I wasn’t the only person who’d gone and come back years later, only to find he’d gone forever. The list is also filled with people who absolutely loved him and were deeply saddened by his passing.

In a realm where YouTube and MySpace prevail, where any chump can have a podcast or a video blog, Terry’s show “SnackBoy” really was at the forefront of a coming revolution.

I’ve been thinking about YouTube as an institution. Yesterday I was briefly caught up in a string of videos and video responses about a film project that scammed hundreds of thousands of people into believing it was real. I caught the aftermath, but was curious to see how it turned out and what kind of lame responses angry fans would post. I quickly realized, who gives a shit?!! People were incensed because they’d gotten attached to the main character and felt deceived and betrayed. The main character, by the way, was a hot “15 year old” who droned on and on about her stupid life from her clean bedroom. I watched two of her episodes and my first thought was, how can you NOT tell this is fake?? I guess some people really are that stupid.

Warhol was right when he said “In the future, everyone will be famous for 15 minutes.” Little did he know, 15 minutes would actually be 15 seconds, maybe less. In our world of ultra convenience, people now have more time than ever to waste. They’re absolutely bored. Idle hands, as they say. Boredom has led to the birth of a magnificent glut of wannabes. The very moment something ingenious sprouts, there are hundreds of copycats. Within days, the cancer spreads and kills.

We live in a world that once was silent, is now overflowing with opinion. When I started The Gothic Preservation Society, there was nothing like it on the net. There were only two or three other Gothic webzines and none of them posted news. In a small way, I was part of a coming revolution. I’m part of it. I was one of the first people to have a podcast that catered to the dark scenes. Now there are more than a handful. As for music magazines, there are far too many to count. Am I famous? Probably not to any real extent, but let’s just say more people know me than I know them. I’m not concerned with fame. I’m concerned with producing things that don’t already exist. Dark Culture Magazine has inspired others to create web-magazines that are often an improvement on the original theme. They’re better than Dark Culture, which leads me to believe the site itself has become trite. If only I had more time, a reliable staff. Lately I’ve been thinking something needs to change.

I digress. In a world where people like Paris Hilton are famous for doing absolutely nothing and Mid-Western video bloggers are our entertainment, I wonder what the future holds. I’m already sick of it. Sick of it, but oddly intrigued.

Fare thee well, SnackBoy. You were at the forefront of a revolution and you didn’t even know it.