After riding the extreme high of delivering the images to my client, things seemed like they were getting on track. Except, we got a new letter from the people we bought our house from. I suppose I can’t talk about it just yet, but use your imagination. I won’t go into details just yet, but my basic feeling is this: A POX ON THEM! BOILS AND POXES AND FIRE!!

*sigh*

Why can’t things stay good? Why do bad things have to crop out of nowhere, fuck shit up, and ruin it all? I wish I knew why bad people existed. After 5 months of turmoil, I wish I had it in my heart to give them the benefit of the doubt. What’s the matter with them? I’m not sure why they’re targeting their (un)righteous indignation at us. What did we do, besides pay them more than the house was worth? Um, nothing. In fact, they’ve been the ones making us miserable. We’ve been pleasant and fair – more than fair – since this whole thing started. I suppose I must accept that people are jerks. I shouldn’t let it get to me. It’s just another challenge to overcome. An annoying challenge, but we’ll be fine.

Onto other things.

So it turns out our new house is HAUNTED!!! I know. What house have I lived in that wasn’t? This one especially, I think. I’m usually the canary in a coal mine when it comes to hauntings. I’m the one who’s troubled by strange noises in the middle of the night and feelings of dread in my basement or attic. I haven’t sensed anything. Except, last week AJB’s assistant and I visited the house and started finding garlic cloves in doorways and window sills. We made light of it and tried to figure out why. I finally called the contractor’s head employee, Alex, who’d been on the job the most. He told me it was something the other guy, Edgar, did. Perfect name, don’t you think? I told him it was fine and we didn’t care if the house smelled like garlic – which it did.

The next time we met with our contractor, he pulled us aside. “What I’m about to tell you is something I’ve never told a client,” he said. Turns out, Alex had called him and said he refused to go back on the job. He said this because he and Edgar had heard noises like people walking around the house, fans turning on, and at one point, they walked out to the back of the house – when they came back in, all the kitchen cabinets were open. I’d probably be calling a priest right about now. Except, I’m used to this sort of thing. I’ve had way too many unexplained occurrences: jiggling door knobs, haunted door bells, voices, sightings, dark entities, noises in other rooms, the cats watching walking ghosts, my sister’s cats watching a woman walk back and forth across a room, the Hong Kong camera experience, and so much more. I could write a 3000 word post about it all. I’m a fairly logical person. I’d explain it if I could.

I read an article recently that talked about how feelings of dread are actually NOT caused by ghosts, but rather a low frequency which comes from old pipes and actually triggers the human fear response. I don’t know about that, but I’ve seen and heard things that will turn you WHITE! Truth is, I know how crazy it all sounds. When I tell people about the things I’ve experienced, I often wonder if they think I’m nuts. I also know what I’ve seen and heard, but even I question it.

Anyway, Alex returned to the job and seems to be fine now. I want to ask if he’s experienced anything else lately. I’ve also heard that construction jobs tend to rile up the spirits, so it makes sense they’re all up and about. Or it could be the noises are simply the house settling with all the work being done. OK, so how do you explain the kitchen cabinets? Either way, something is spooking the handymen. It’s an old house, after all. 108 years old this year.

When we moved into the temp Glendale house, I did a cleansing ritual – I walked around with sage and chanted nice things claiming temporary ownership of the house. I banished all bad energy and even though I felt silly doing it, it made me feel better. I’ll do the same thing at the new house. Twice if I have to.

I woke up and the sweetest husband in the world brought me breakfast in bed, even through we’re totally out of food prior to a full refrigerator cleanse for repair. He then brought me presents! He got me a negative scanner and a sound machine. Yay. He loves me. I was feeling pretty good at this point. I figured I’d spend the day kicking back, trying to get rid of a headache I’d had since the day before. I went down-stairs for coffee and on the way back to my office, happened to glance into the dining room and there it was: A 1960′s British-import 3-wheeled bicycle – although 3 wheels officially makes it a tricycle. I’d seen it on Craigslist and was pining for it. I’d been searching for one for a long time and had determined that even though I could afford it, I should probably spend what little money I have on photo equipment. I’d emailed the owner and told him I’d be coming for it, but was sad I had to change my mind. Sneaky person he is, AJB emailed the owner, told him not to sell it to me and that he was getting it for me as a surprise. A lo, there it was in my own dining room with a big bow on it.

Now, I think the last time I was this happy with a present had to be the last time I got a bike – when I was 5 years old, although since then I’ve gotten some great presents. My five year old bike, that beautiful banana seat number with flowers and tassels – the one my Dad sold without my permission at a yard sale when I was 11. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. I couldn’t believe that my husband had done that, what an amazing and clever thing! I rode my new baby up and down the block a few times. She’s over 45 years old, but with some TLC she’ll be good as new. Structurally, she’s sound.

Later that afternoon, AJB, JCS, and I had lunch at a darling new cafe called “Novel Cafe” on Colorado Blvd. – they serve fresh, organic food and were playing 80′s alternative music. I will be back. Afterward, we rounded the corner and dropped my trike at Pasadena Cyclery for some new tires and breaks. I’ll clean her up this weekend and take some photos to share. She’ll eventually need a paint job, but for now, she’s wonderful and I love her so very much.

The day would only get better from there. AJB had already told me we were dining at one of my favorite places in Los Angeles, the legendary Magic Castle. What he didn’t tell me was that 3 of my favorite people would also be there! Surprise! Andy, Jason, and Dave. Yay! We ate, we drank, we talked, we laughed, we sang. I drank wine like it was going out of fashion and got a bit tipsy. Good tipsy, you know the kind where you love everyone? I hope I wasn’t obnoxious, but AJB assures me I wasn’t too bad. When we left the Magic Castle, I exclaimed that I wanted to go dancing so AJB drove us to Perversion, although in my drunken haze, I wasn’t quite sure where we’d ended up.

There was just about an hour or so left in the evening, but I danced like it was going out of fashion. Now, back in the day, my friends and I used to go to Perversion every week. The place would be packed. Sadly, the club is a shell of it’s former self. Hardly anyone was there and the music was fairly terrible, even though I got the DJ to play Bauhaus and Siouxsie for me. The people that were there all looked pretty tired. While I realize the glory days of the Goth scene are far behind me now, it’s sad to see what it’s become. No one dresses up and the dancing has become an even mopier version of the beautiful moves we used to do in my day. Kids just sort of slowly flail around, as if they’re about to pass out – but not in a cool way. I didn’t let it get me down. I had a great time dancing by myself, dancing with my husband. I was happy to know that I wasn’t the oldest person there. I wonder if I’d be interested in going back. I mean, what I always loved about the clubs wasn’t the people anyway, it was always about the dancing and the music. I do miss it. I suppose I shouldn’t care how old I am. When I was 21, I used to look at the folks in their 30′s and think how sad it was that they were still clubbing at their age. I suppose now that the shoe is on the other foot, I understand why they were there.

I passed out cold on the ride home. AJB got me into bed and I awoke the next morning with not the worst hangover ever, but didn’t feel great. I’m also a bit sore from dancing so hard. Yikes. I guess I’m out of practice.

Every happy moment on my 35th birthday was due to my lovely and wonderful husband for making it happen. I couldn’t have asked for a better celebration, for better gifts, or better friends. It was sublime. It’s one for the record!

The rain over the last few days has put a damper on any sort of motivation and all I really want to do is watch TCM and snuggle with my cats. I love the rain. It makes everything look and smell so wonderful. Our grass is greener than ever and the world is clean. Meanwhile, I’ve been listening to a really great Old Time Radio station 1710 Antioch. This station is literally run out of this guy’s house in Illinois and gets a local broadcast range of about a mile radius. He’s streaming online which is how I found him. I really love the DIY aspect of it and even donated $15.00 to his efforts; something I never do. This is what life is about: Doing what you love and sharing it with others. I have to support that.

1710 Antioch runs the gambit of OTR programs from suspense to comedy to science fiction. You’ll hear famous actors who got their start in radio including the wonderful Glenn Ford. You’ll even hear old station bumpers, commercials, and PSAs from the 20′s to the 50′s. Its a blast from the past and really makes me wonder why we need television at all. I mean, all these programs are so great and while all of them aren’t Mercury Theater caliber, it still instantly transports you to a simpler place and time. It also reminds me that nothing can compete with your own imagination; what the scene would look like or just imagining a group of actors huddled around a microphone holding scripts, the sound effects guy in the background clanging bells and knocking on tables. You can find magic in the world if you look for it. Antioch 1710 is magical. Sheer perfection comes with listening at night with the rain splashing on the shingles. The station owner really cares about the shows, fixes audio, and provides really clean recordings. If you do listen, consider donating a few pence to help the guy out. He really puts a lot of work into it.

And now onto the Round Up…

This week’s Photo Round Up contains 6 images – actually 2 are from the same day, but it was such a great photo of Oatmeal, I had to include it. I’m also noticing that my subject matter consists mainly of my cats. I suppose it’s because they’re always around. I should use this project to get out more or at least wander the yard a bit. Then again, it’s been raining. Let’s see how I do next week.

The world is changing. Now, more than ever, families are taking into account their impact on the planet. Regardless of these strides, many still find it difficult to remember to put recyclables in the bin and not the trash. While the world is moving towards a Greener tomorrow, we’re not there yet.

Kids today are inundated with games, electronics, and social networking. More often than not, thinking Green falls on deaf ears. In this wham-bam-thank-you-mame society, how do you get kids excited about saving the planet? At their tender ages, they are invincible. The world only ends in movies or when that cute guy doesn’t like you back.

Parents know that kids require constant reminders for just about everything. From picking up their clothes to putting cans in the recycling bin. Instituting new house rules is often like pulling teeth. Let’s face it, sometimes kids just forget no matter how good their intentions are.

Never underestimate the power of posted signs. Kids aren’t always aware that these days, just about everything is recyclable; from Styrofoam to cat food cans. Kids also like to participate in grown up conversations. Talking to them, asking their advice, and opening frequent dialogs is a good way to keep the planet on their minds. Kids also like new information. Saying things like “Did you know that that water bottle will end up in landfill and it will take 450-1000 to decompose?” gets their wheels turning. Furthermore, fun activities like a family garden give them hands on experience in living self-sufficiently. Get creative and most importantly, make it fun and engaging. Before no time, you won’t have to dig a Coke can out of the trash ever again.

Unlike a lot of artists, I never had a mentor and my internships have all turned out to be huge let downs. I’ve read books and articles hungrily searching for tricks, tips, and advice. I’ve taken classes and even walked up to photographers to ask them questions about their techniques and equipment. Nothing has been handed to me. So when I see other photographers, people who have done far better than me in less time, I can’t help but feel inferior. They’re out there making names for themselves and I’m sitting at home wondering how to make a name for myself.

During my 1st year out as a freelancer, I worked hard and did a lot of “pay your dues” work. I learned a lot, but found that I still didn’t know how the system worked. How were my friends making money, getting printed, and showing up in galleries? How does that work?

The hardest facet of being an artist is learning how to sell yourself. My friends have photo blogs, they talk constantly about their work, and they’re always working on something. Now, let’s not forget, they’re also in their 20′s and can live on Top Ramen and Red Bulls. Had I been more focused, a bit smarter, I could have done what they have done. So now I’m married with step-kids and while that’s not a valid excuse, it does add a certain level of complication to the matter. The other issue is that I carefully release my work, only showing the work I’m totally positive will get a good response. I don’t ever show my mediocre work, or at least, I’m afraid to. I seem to have a heightened sense of good or bad in own my work. My friends, they show everything…even the bad stuff. Are they better photographers than me? In some cases, yes. In others, no. They’re putting themselves out there and perhaps it doesn’t occur to them that someone might say they hate it. Frankly, I haven’t seen that yet. They seem to get a good deal of affirmation in their work, even the work that I wouldn’t consider good; if it were mine.

It took me a year to start telling people, with confidence, that I was a photographer. When I started doing that, my life started making sense. I’ve always been a photographer, but felt that since I wasn’t making money and didn’t have the portfolio to back it up, I shouldn’t rightfully call myself one. It sounded pretentious and I was worried that I would appear to be egotistical. That was then. I now have a pretty decent portfolio and I’m more determined than ever to make a go of it. This is what I want, this is who I am. I am a photographer, dammit. This is the year that I will hype my shit and show my work. I’ll find a way to stay respectable and not come off as an egomaniac.

With that said, I took a leap and submitted 7 of my recent Polaroids to a one night gallery showing in Santa Monica. As many of you know, Polaroid is one of my favorite film types. I just love it. I put off submitting my work to this show because…you guessed it, I was afraid. When the deadline drew near, I fought my inner critic and eventually won. I sent them out and felt as though I was throwing caution to the wind. Let the chips fall where they may. Turns out, they’re using my work. In what capacity, I’m still not sure. My name is on the list of contributors and I’m attending the show tonight.

Let the chips fall where they may. I figure, some things work and you can’t please everyone.

You'd never guess she was a fearless mouse killer.

Last night as I lay sleeping, I hear the familiar cat cry of, “Mommy, I’m stuck somewhere, come get me out” from Matilda – which is generally a meek sounding mew that is more akin to a whimper. Or at least that’s what I thought I heard.

Sometimes the cats just mew because they’re looking for us. I called to her and she didn’t come. I kept calling and she didn’t come. I got up to look for her because I figured she must have (somehow) gotten into my closet and was now trapped. As I passed the bathroom, I hear the tiniest meow from the darkness. I look in, surprised to just see her sitting her, a toy mouse at her feet. Oh, she’d just been playing and was getting a little excited…at 3′oclock in the morning. No, wait, what? No. What’s that? ACK! Fake mouse, no. Real mouse, yes. *Dead as a door nail.

According to AJB’s recounting, I made barfy/blurgle sounds and called him up. I don’t think I did…make the blurgle sounds. I did call him up. I had to leave the room. I tweeted, “Holy crap! Matilda just killed a MOUSE in the bathroom!!! Matilda trumps your cat. Bonus: We now apparently have mice in the house.” AJB started to scold Matilda, but I shouted back that he should praise her. After all, it’s what we want them to do, right? We have mice? Cats are the cheap, eco-friendly way to get rid of them. I’m surprised, in fact. I’ve always wondered what the cats would do it a mouse got in the house. Would they play with them? Eat them? Ignore them? Well, tonight we found out.

Gross as it was, I really was proud of Matilda. I mean, it’s her first real kill. Being a vegetarian, you’d think I’d be sad about the mouse. I kind of am, but actually, I’m happier she got it before it chewed through my cheeks. Besides, hunting is natural for cats and far be it from me to take that away from her. And the truth is, mice are vermin and they carry diseases. As cute as they are, they don’t belong in the house and we can’t allow them to be. You HAVE to get rid of them and Matilda just saved us several hundred dollars in exterminator fees. Good girl!

After her kill, she roamed the house on patrol, sniffing in corners, checking behind furniture, looking for another one. She momentarily became sidetracked with a fake toy mouse, but quickly realized the live ones are better. Problem with the live ones, they stop moving after a while. I mean, come on, you bite them a few times and they go limp. What’s the deal? Anthropomorphizing my cats, as I do, I can only imagine that Matilda must have been so excited when she discovered the mouse. It’s like the fake ones, but it moves on it’s own!! OMG!! Finally! My years of training have all lead up to this moment!

A bit later, I gave Matilda a spoonful of tuna as a heroe’s treat. The other cats joined in the celebration too. It was indeed a red letter day. After that, I cleaned the kitchen REAL GOOD. Now that mice have found their way into the house, it’s imperative that we keep the house clean, don’t leave food out, and keep an eye on the cat food. I mean, we do a pretty good job already, but now it’s go-time.

Before we drifted off to sleep, AJB said that I was a good mommy because I praised the kitties…even when it’s horrifying. lol. I suppose so. Naturally, I cannot go without praising my man for scooping up the corpse and taking it out of the house. He also cleaned up a small pool of blood. I couldn’t have done it. I probably would have screamed, called my brother, and when he refused to come over, I would have slept in the car. Not sure how the next morning would play out. I am, sadly, overcome with girlie fears when it comes to dead animals or flying bugs. I become utterly useless. Aside from all the usual benefits of having AJB and the cats around, they also do the dirty work. I love them for that.

*Quite on accident, I discovered this phrase originates from Shakespeare. It’s fascinating that we still use phrases that were coined 400 years ago. Neat.

My sister and Mom hosted a co-ed wedding shower for AJB and I today. It was lovely. My Mom spent the last month cleaning her yard and house, getting it ready and decorating it to a tee. My sister coordinated, brainstormed, had it catered, sent the invites, helped decorate and was an all around delightful hostess. In the mix, my sister-in-law was my sister’s right hand woman. My aunt Carol busted ass with my Mom to get the house ready. It was an all together amazing feat and they all did such a wonderful job. It was just great.

It was better than I hoped and better than I feel I deserve. It’s like, wow, all this for me and AJB? I can’t tell you how special we felt. We got a good turn out and even though some people didn’t show up (even though they said they would and didn’t even call to cancel) we were surrounded by people we love.

The biggest bummer of the day was that AJB’s kids couldn’t make it. I suppose I shouldn’t get into WHY they weren’t there. It’s not important, but I hope they know how much we missed them today. We really did.

Aside from the absent kids, it was just a spectacular day that went by entirely too fast. Mom had the yard just perfect with cafe lights and a white canopy. Every nook and cranny was clean and organized and filled with something – a plant or yard ornament. And it all looked so pretty.

I’m really bummed that I didn’t have a camera to capture moments or the decor, but it’s my fault – I should have planned ahead instead of expecting someone else to do it – it’s never a good idea to assume anything anyway. Luckily, AJB’s cousin Mike had a camera and took some fantastic photos of the day. Click here.

Did I mention we got presents?? Yeah, we totally did. Lots of presents! It was like frickin’ Christmas! Actually, I didn’t expect gifts at all. I was just happy people showed up. The best part about the gifts was that everyone was so thoughtful. Not one lame gift in the bunch. People even decorated or wrapped the gifts in Halloween themed wrapping. Wow.

I really am overwhelmed. In fact, I’m finding it hard to describe how I feel. I feel loved, that’s all. I’ve always known this, but AJB and I are surrounded by some pretty phenomenal people; really amazing people. Today, it was just so apparent. We have great family and great friends.

I know I’m leaving out details, I’m writing less than eloquently, and being extra girly. It’s after 1am and I’m exhausted. Happy and exhausted.

To everyone that helped pull this off and to everyone that attended, from the bottom of our hearts, we thank you.

I think the image speaks for itself.

Over the last week, I managed to gather several AMAZING screen caps of the web cam. My favorites are the last two; the blue image taken just at sunrise (I happened to be up at the time) and only a few minutes after the 3rd image and then the most recent one where you can actually see the observatory with the fire in the background below a star filled sky. Just breathtaking. The first two look like Mordor.