I was sort of thrust into an unfamiliar role: Soon to be step-mom for 3 kids; one of which is a teenager and the other two are soon-to-be teenagers. Many people have called my situation a “ready made family”, but there’s nothing ready made about it. In fact, I’ve come to realize that making a family takes a great deal of effort and patience. They’re not my kids and I have no real obligation to do anything with them or for them. Thing is, I love AJB’s kids. They’re 3 of the greatest kids I’ve ever met and I feel as though I’ve really lucked out. Granted, there have been bumps along the road, but nothing that a little logic and patience can’t overcome. Or perhaps it’s the other way around?

That said, I’ve always loved cooking. I love experimenting and making food that results in yummy noises at the table. I have a fairly exotic palate, but AJB will eat whatever I place in front of him. I’m also a vegetarian with vegan tendencies. AJB’s kids are not and do not. Unlike most kids, they’ve seen the world and have done a great deal of traveling. Although, like most kids, they also enjoy just about everything that’s bad for you, filled with sugar, loaded with carbs, and made on an assembly line. They enjoy easy food that is wrapped in too much protective plastic and slathered in far too many preservatives. If that wasn’t enough, AJB’s twin boy is an extremely picky eater and doesn’t handle change very well. I, however, believe that food directly effects your health, mood, and longevity. Good food from good sources means you’re in tune with nature, your community, and your body.

So how do I balance my needs and the desires of AJB’s kids? It hasn’t been easy. They visit every Wednesday and two weekends a month. On those nights, I try to cook, but sometimes it’s just not possible. We end up ordering take-out or pizza for the umpteenth time. In order for me to cook, I need to prepare rather heavily. This means shopping once a week and making a meal plan. I also work best with recipes or items I know and love. I’ve also figured out that if I introduce organic/vegetarian meals that look and taste like the bad foods they love, the reception is a lot better. For example, tonight I made organic, homemade pizza followed by organic/macrobiotic poppy seed cookies. Both went over very well. If I were to say “you know, you’re eating macrobiotic cookies,” first of all, I’d have to explain what macrobiotic is. Secondly, they might not like them as well. AJB’s twin boy always seems to ask me what’s in the food and I tell him, but I never use terminology like “vegetarian”, “vegan”, or “gluten-free”. It’s not important. What is important is that they enjoy it and so far, they have. Once or twice they’ve commented that the pasta was weird, but they ate it anyway. So, there you go.

Learning to feed 3 children with 3 different personalities has been a challenge, but it’s one that I’ve grown into and have come to enjoy. It’s a far cry from where I was a few years ago – wondering if I could handle it, having mild panic attacks at the thought of being a step mom, and fretting that I might blow a quiet fuse. You know what? It’s all gone so well that I can’t say I have any complaints. What I really want, besides feeding AJB’s kids good, healthy food, is for them to recall these days with fondness. To recall that their future step-mom was pretty cool and she always made good eats. When they go off to college, they’ll think back and miss these home cooked meals. It’s so important to sit around the table and eat together. It’s the foundation of a happy family and I’m more than content to do my part.

It’s funny, people have always told me I’m good with kids and I guess I am. I often wonder about having my own kid(s). I’ve stepped into the step mom role rather well and am trying to maintain a good balance between being cool and being responsible. It’s a lot harder than you think.

* I want to start taking pictures of the food I make. Some of it actually looks really nice.