I woke up yesterday in such a good mood. I was going to see THE Frankie Valli with my Mom and JCS. A storm was brewing, but it wasn’t just the rain. I guess most families fall into the category of irrational and dramatic, so I can take comfort in knowing I’m not alone. Eh, I won’t go into it.

We arrived at The California Theater in San Bernardino, which is oddly beautiful considering it’s unfortunate geographical location. It was a brisk evening and we arrived a little early. I was in a bad mood due to earlier events and figured a Jack and Coke would fix me right quick. I went outside for a quick pre-show smoke, J&C in hand, I chatted with a true Frankie Valli fan who had seen Valli perform over 40 times and had actually met him.

The show started right on time. When Valli came out, he immediately charged into a 60 second rendition of “Dawn” and I couldn’t believe my eyes, was Frankie lip-synching? Was he? No. Couldn’t be. I kept watching and eventually determined he wasn’t. Dawn was over quicker than I would have liked. It’s my favorite Four Seasons song and I was a little bummed. It took me a while to get back into the groove, but I never fully recovered.

Throughout the show, Frankie was kind enough to oblige the half filled theater with fan favorites and several covers from a new album. Overall (and let me just get this out of the way) Frankie has a golden voice. He’s a living legend and seems like a stand-up guy. I grew up listening to the Four Seasons because my Dad loved them so. It’s really easy for kids to get into 60′s bubble-gum pop, except, I look back fondly at complaining that all my Dad listened to was old music. Of course, because it was hammered into my head, as I grew older and realized that “old” music is WHY we have new music, I grew to love and appreciate it. I especially love The Four Seasons because it reminds me of my Dad. It’s not just that. It’s really great music. Bob Gaudio, the mastermind behind all their songs, is a musical genius. I also recently saw Jersey Boys in Chicago and actually liked it.

I guess I expected more from the show. I mean, Frankie’s 74 years old, so I don’t know what I expected, actually. Have you ever been up late at night flipping channels and you stumble upon KCET public television pledge drive? They broadcast their concert series which are generally older bands from the 60′s or 70′s that take place in towns like San Bernardino. The hosts reminisce and tell you about the importance of supporting public television and that if you pledge a hundred dollars, you’ll get a tote bag and a CD. Back to the concert, KC and the Sunshine band or some other sad band that has nothing better going on. The cameras scan the audience and it’s filled with centenarians sitting there like lumps on logs, occasionally smiling and clapping their hands. Never standing and occasionally nodding off.

You get the picture? That was last night. Talk about the oldest crowd I’ve ever been amongst. Old, old, old. Old as shit. It was like the old age home had a field trip. Frankie Valli, because he himself is old, now has a foursome of young lads that sing and dance behind him. They’re freakin’ nuts. They were all over the place, bouncing, jumping, high fiving each other, doing moves that were obviously inspired by the 60′s, but looked more like a cheap theater production of a 60′s dance routine. A group of good looking, local boys, who looked like jocks that hurt themselves in highs school, had to leave the team, and got into theater as lark, and ended up touring with Franki Valli. Did I actually see chest bumping? I feel like I did. Their big moment came when each Dude got a turn in singing “December, 1963 (Oh What a Night)”. I guess Frankie can’t justify singing it himself because it was originally done by Gerry Polci and Don Ciccone. The Dudes, I swear to God, were doing (holy shit) hip-hop dance moves and kind of rapping out the song a bit. None of them could sing and it was awful, awful, awful. Fuck. And get this, the audience flipped! They loved it. As far as I was concerned, it was the worst part of the show.

Fine. I regrouped. I was pretty stoked when Frankie sang Grease, Sherry, and Big Girls Don’t Cry. Still, the audience just sat there. There were also various medleys thrown into the mix. I hate medleys. When Frankie asked the audience to clap, it was like pulling teeth. I figure their Metamucil kicked in during “Oh What a Night”, but wore off soon after. At one point, one lady stood up to dance, but looked around, saw she was the only one and sat back down. Good for you lady. I heard a “Fuck Yeah” from the back when “Walk Like a Man” came on, but otherwise, this was the most comatose audience I’ve ever been in. Comatose! I don’t care if you’re a hundred years old, this is a concert, and Frankie Valli is a fucking rock star! How do you forget what it’s like to be young? How often do you get to see a living legend? Stand up! Clap! Yell! I did and the lady in front of me kept getting annoyed. At one point, her husband had to comfort her. OMG.

Granted, the musical arrangements for these songs have metamorphosed into cheesy Las Vegas lounge versions and there are few reminders that you’re actually watching a Frankie Valli concert. It could have been a cover band, for all I knew.

Frankie was phoning it in. I hate to say it, but he was. JCS and my Mom will disagree, they loved it, but they’re both old ladies. I mean, when you’ve been singing the same songs for 40 years, I guess you lose some of that old enthusiasm. The problem is, it really looked like The Four Dudes were there to replace that lost vigor. That’s sad. Even though Frankie can’t dance and shake like he once did, he still has a beautiful voice. I guess it doesn’t help that the audience was snoring through more than half the show. That’s gotta be a bummer for any performer.

Everyone stood up after the first finale because they thought it was over and were giving their show-end standing ovation. Psyche! The band came back out and did 3 more songs. Naturally, now that you’re up, you can’t just sit back down, can you? That would be embarrassing. You stood, now you gotta hold your ground. Standing or not, the level of excitement was still low. Lights on, show over. The audience erupted in applause. Finally.

Was it the worst show I’ve ever seen? No. Like I said, despite all the bad, Frankie still sings like a king. The audience’s lack of enthusiasm was disheartening and I was confused. The modern musical arrangements ala Las Vegas isn’t my cup of tea, but the band was skilled. I can say that much. Will I ever see Frankie Valli play again? Probably not. I hated The Four Dudes. They killed it for me. I’d go see Jersey Boys again, because at least they sing the songs as they were intended and you get to see a reasonable facsimile of the band in their hey day.

I’m grateful for the opportunity to be disappointed by a Frankie Valli show and I don’t blame Frankie at all. He’s old and these ancient songs are his bread and butter. I’ll continue to listen to The Four Seasons because I love them and they deserve to be remembered as they were.