We got to the airport with time to spare. We checked our bags, exchanged some currency, got a cash refund for the missing bags fiasco, and made it to the United Business Lounge. I’ve been in several United Business Lounges in my day, but never one that had free alcohol. They just had bottles sitting there for you to drink as you please. Whiskey, vodka, rum, you name it, they had it. As I’m a light-weight these days, I partook of the free white wine. I partook a lot. I made one or two rounds to the smoking lounge (which is the nicest and cleanest I’ve ever been in) and partook a little more in the free booze. Free Saltines too. By the time we started boarding the plane, I was pleasantly tossed. Of course, Business Class, being much nicer than coach or economy plus, they offer you Champagne before the flight takes off. Naturally, I had some. From that point on, the 10 hour flight was a blurred menagerie of in-flight films, XM-Radio (which, mind you, plays excellent music), more free booze, and a great deal of sleep. Apparently, not only was I dancing (arms waving) in my seat, but I also spilled my drink on my boyfriend. I was still asleep when the plane landed and the last person to leave. Drunken stouper, not anything flight attendants haven’t seen before and probably not the worst.
Somehow, I made it through customs and somehow we got our bags. I imagine that had it not been for the care of my boyfriend, I might still be on the plane. Out to the street, I was pushing the cart with the bags and talking to the girl that was waiting for us at baggage claim. I accidentally dumped the luggage into the street. It was at that very moment that I began to feel sick. Really sick. Luckily, I didn’t puke in the car ride home. I slept some more. Once we got home, I ran to see my kitties. My head in a fluff and in an awful amount of pain. I said “hi” to the babies and flopped down on the bed. Hard. The next 24 hours was a puke-fest that rivaled the pie-eating contest vomit scene in Stand By Me. Dry heaves a’plenty and that feeling that you’re on a merry-go-round that just won’t stop. When I finally stopped puking and had a sense that I was coming back to life, I slept for real…except, I kept waking up. Around 5am, I woke up for good. My darling of a boyfriend made a run to the store for some dehydration provisions (crackers and Gatorade) and I shoved a bowl of rice down. I felt better.
Today however, the aftermath of the aftermath. I tried to stay awake most of the day, but ultimately fell back asleep in a deep slumber. I’m still a little light-headed and too tired to sleep. I’ve eaten and I feel like myself again. I can now truly appreciate being home.
Before any given flight, I can’t name names, but I’ve been told that the best thing to do on long flights is get wasted, sleep through the flight, wake up at your destination, and voila! Problem solved. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned it or not, but I’m not a good flyer. I get anxious, restless, can’t sleep, sometimes I get motion sickness, and I tend to be easily upset. It must be the confined spaces, the recycled air, the sub-par food, and the inability to move around as you please. Either way, after several bad flights, I decided to take the “get wasted” advice to see what would happen. I think I can safely say that getting wasted on a flight is NOT the answer. Experiment? Failed. Looking on the positive side, I guess now I can say I know the difference. I was also not aware that the altitude makes the effects of alcohol intensify. Who knew? Not me. So, take it from me. Don’t get wasted on the flight…that is, unless you’re Keith Richards…which, for a few hours…I was.
I am glad to be home. It feels weird. After living in a hotel for more than a week, it’s nice to be back amongst my own things. This also means that now I can get back to the real world and do real world things. I don’t have to wake up and sight-see tomorrow, but I do need to get my career off the ground. Back to all the miscellaneous tasks of everyday life.
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