Angelyne “Beauty and the Pink”
I don’t often consciencely seek out music. Most times, music finds me. One of my greatest joys is stumbling onto music, rare finds, a good band hidden in the pile. 98% of my music collection comes from used CD bins or second hand stores. I also don’t often approach bands for press kits. The Dark Culture stock-pile is filled with submissions by people who send music unprovoked (of which, I am forever thankful).
On that note, yesterday I came across a great discovery. My brother and I had just come from the Pasadena Farmers Market where I’d purchased white necartines and homemade humus. Knowing that I would only find disappointment, we decided to visit a local thrift store. I never find anything there, I’m not sure why I keep going back. Since 1992 and the outbreak of grunge, thrift store shopping just isn’t what it used to be. Still, you never know. I casually flipped through racks of old lady dresses, my brother and I made jokes about ugly frocks. I started to realize I wasn’t going to hit pay dirt, so we started walking to the door. Oh wait! The CD shelves! I came across a couple of CD’s I already owned and one I’d gone on a mad search to find several years prior…and there it was for $2.00! I ended up buying it on eBay for far more than it’s worth. I kept looking. I came across a spine that read “Angelyne – Beauty and the Pink”. Could it really be THE Angelyne? No way. I grabbed it. No front cover, just the back. Sure enough, it was THE Angelyne. I had to buy it.
If you live in Southern California, chances are you know THE Angelyne. She’s a Hollywood staple and placed 29th out of 135 candidates for California Governor in 2003. Around the early to mid 80’s, these larger than life billboards of a heavy breasted blonde with sunglasses and tight pants started popping up all over Hollywood. She’s the original “famous for doing nothing” celebrity. She’s famous for her billboards, which according to rumor, were funded Anna Nicole style, by a wealthy, but elderly, husband. She’s appeared in several low budget films, but not a lot is known about her. Despite her fame, she is somewhat elusive. At this point, I gage she is somewhere in her 50’s. Rare photos of how she looks today are akin to the horror of Joan Rivers in plastic surgery nightmares. She’s a favorite amongst drag queens, freaks, and is good friends with Nina Hagen. An old website that catalogues “Angelyne Sightings” is one of the scant locations with any information. She has a MySpace page, but I suspect it’s yet another celeb-fakery. I recently read an article that said “There is a sad, desperate quality to [her], like a clown still performing long after the circus has closed“. Sources say she is sweet as pie. Sweet or not, she is undoubtedly a true Hollywood freak, with all that implies, good and bad.
Finding her CD was pure luck. You can’t just buy them anywhere. They’re rare and are a must have for any music collector of the obscure. I’m a little disappointed that the CD insert didn’t come with it, but I imagine the previous owner still retains it held in a place of honor above his single-style bed which exists in his proverbial “parent’s basement”. I imagine for most men, Angelyne is the perfect woman. She’s silly and has GINORMOUS boobs. She’s been known to say “Barbie wishes she were me”…probably not Doctor Barbie or Astronaut Barbie, but most definitely Party Barbie. She is the enemy of feminists, and the friend of anyone who can see she is nothing more than a fixture…something I’m sure garners much self pride. She is the Paris Hilton blue-print, despite obvious differences, she has attained true stardom without true talent or artistic skill.
With that, I present for your listening enjoyment, Beauty and the Pink. You’ll be surprised to hear that it’s not that bad; in a Dale Bozzio meets Rose McDowall meets Kazu Makino (Blonde Redhead) meets Ali Shaw (Cranes) sort of way. As an added bonus, the beats per minute have been included next to the song title…just in case. Despite lyrics like “Pink is the color of an angel’s tongue”, this CD manages to fall into the “weird, but good, strangely cool” category.
DOWNLOAD BEAUTY AND THE PINK + back cover
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