Too Much Time on My Hands
Recently someone told me that, because I write a blog, she thought I had too much time on my hands. At the time, I was offended because it lessened something that makes me happy and frankly, I think is pretty cool. Later, I thought…so what? What’s wrong with having time on your hands? What does “too much time on your hands” imply? It implies that you’re not doing anything meaningful with your time; like feeding starving children or curing cancer. It implies that I’m so bored with my life that I have nothing better to do than blather on about absolutely nothing, and share my meaningless and unpaid opinion with faceless readers. It’s an implication that I have nothing better to do.
Do I have nothing better to do? I don’t write this blog as a form of entertainment. It’s simple purpose is as a forum for the thoughts that keep me up at night, the ideas that pop into my head and need a home. It’s a place for me to vent and rant (although, not about work because who knows who’s reading this). If it were about about the satisfaction of receiving comments…I’d be letting myself down. It’s merely something I do to keep myself sane. It also serves as a portal to the past. I can look back at who I was two years ago and remind myself how far I’ve come.
I agree, the Internets is filled with fluff. Blogs are like assholes, everyone has one. It’s not about what it offers to the world, because it generally offers absolutely nothing, it’s about having a place to write. Simple. Some bloggers have made names for themselves, some do it for the glory, some people actually get paid to blog. People like knowing that readers agree or disagree with them, that someone is paying attention, that they’re not alone. Despite living in a world where it’s easier than ever to connect with others, some people are still alone. A blog is a quick cure for loneliness. You can easily imagine that hundreds of people are reading your words, connecting.
I’ve only ever once been paid to write. About four or five years ago, I wrote a Horror movie column for Gothic.Net and Darren was nice enough to pay me. I wrote it for about 6 months until finally they’d gotten over my inability to turn in anything on time. Since then, I wrote an article on The Sims that was included in a book called “The Gothic Bible” by Nancy Kilpatrick. I’ve written several reviews for Virus! Magazine (online) and I write like a fiend for Dark Culture. None of these pay me a dime. I write because I love to write. I write because I think I’m fairly good at it.
Living in Los Angeles, it’s perfectly OK to name drop and boast about your meager accomplishments. Writers in particular, are infamous for thinking they’re better than everyone else. I know several that I could out, but discretion is the better part of valor. Writers, I’ve noted, are either so insecure about themselves and their work, that they find it unnecessary to talk about anything else. Who they know, where they’ve been, what they’ve just written for the The Daily Planet. Boast and brag. It doesn’t make them better writers. Rather, it’s this big neon sign flashing “I’m insecure. Love me because I know how to express my feelings in type better than you can.” I could write entire paragraphs on the subject, but the point is, I’m not that kind of writer. I don’t get paid, therefore some might not consider me a real writer at all. I don’t boast about my accomplishments at work, because honestly, I like to keep it separate from my real life. My job is my job, my writing is who I really am (or want to be).
Is there a fine line between self-promotion and bragging? There’s nothing wrong with wanting the world to read your words. That’s kind of the point, isn’t it? Writers, in general, want to share their views with the world. Perhaps all writers (including me) desperately need validation. Maybe we really are insecure babies who need faceless readers to love us. It’s not bad when they do. Still, there’s something false about a person who can only elucidate on a subject that they’re being paid 3 cents per word to write about. Can’t you talk about anything else? Or perhaps there are arguments on both counts. Paid to write writers have the monetary excuse to research things they never would have otherwise. Unpaid writers can complain about paid writers because they’re jealous. Naturally, I’d never turn down a paid gig, but it also doesn’t stop me from writing.
It appears the excess time I had on my hands has now run out.
2 Responses to “Too Much Time on My Hands”
Gee, you writes good. xxx
getting paid to write and writing about something you’re passionate about aren’t mutually exclusive. a good majority of (particularly freelance) writers get paid to write about subjects they specifically choose and pitch to their editors. this is not the case with full time staff writers. there also comes a point in some (not all) writers’ lives where it’s necessary to value your work a certain amount and ask, “if that editor is paying other writers – why should i continue to work for free?”
wanting others to know you have pieces published isn’t necessarily a sign of insecurity although i’m sure it can be for some. i think most writers i know speak of recent publication out of simple excitement – much like artists talk about new paintings or musicians speak of new music. .
i find that whenever i’ve ever been annoyed with someone talking about their accomplishments sometimes it was necessary to look at myself and see if i wasn’t actually just threatened because their success elucidated some aspect of my life that i was unhappy with. oftentimes, that was the case. however, there were a few douchebags in the mix as well.
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